


How do we win?

by OfTheDirewolves



Category: The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Eliot Waugh has a lot of feelings, Fix-It, Garbage Coven being themselves, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Non-graphic mentions of suicide, The Gang Storms the Underworld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-05-16 01:32:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19307917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfTheDirewolves/pseuds/OfTheDirewolves
Summary: Quentin Coldwater wasn’t ready to die, for the first time in his life he felt like he wasn’t done living.Eliot Waugh and Alice Quinn never truly got along, except for a very brief friendship that ended in the blink of an eye.Can they work together to get back the man they love, or will it all be for nothing?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been working on this since the finale that shall not be named. 
> 
> Title comes from "Sick of Losing Soulmates" 
> 
>  
> 
> Things to know:  
> The Happening never happened so Josh/Margo never happened
> 
> Quentin and Alice talked but didn't get back together. 
> 
> The aesthetic links to the Tumblr post <3
> 
> Warning: This fic follows the idea that what Quentin did was suicide. The characters will talk about it and use the term suicide. I don’t describe the event (we all saw how it happened) but I talk about the aftermath and how the characters feel about it. 
> 
> So please be aware of that if you have any triggers.

 

 

* * *

 

Penny and Quentin had been talking for a bit in his office, ever since he’d gotten out of the elevator. The hot chocolate left untouched.

“I think I did kill myself? I didn’t really think about it, I just didn’t run? I should have run. I don’t think it’s my time Penny,” Quentin said

“What do you want?”

“I want to live. We just got Eliot back and I didn’t even get to see him. There are a million conversations still overdue between us. I need to rebuild my friendship with Alice and help Julia adjust to another new change. I need to get drunk with Margo and then talk about feelings in the particular way I only seem to do with her. I need to kick 23’s ass for choosing for Julia without her consent and help Kady out with the hedges if she asks,” Quentin said just spouting off random things while pacing around the room. Then he stopped at the couch and saw Penny was smiling at him.

“What?”

“Nothing, just nothing,” Penny said with a smile that was honestly creeping Quentin out. He’d never seen Penny smile like this at him.

“You know what?” Penny asked

“What?”

“It’s a pity we made you come all this way, even with magic being back there’s still some bureaucratic nonsense,” Penny said.

“I don’t follow,” Quentin said confused and then Penny rolled his eyes at him, there he was. 

_There was the Penny he knew._

“My orders said I had to get Quentin Coldwater ready to move on but I’m sure that’s Quentin 16, he’s been here much longer and probably wants to move on rather than loiter around in the Underworld,” Penny said pointedly and it clicked.

“Oh of course,”

“We will have to reset your paperwork and it’s going to take a while so you should probably go back to the Meadows where you were waiting beforehand. As everyone knows you take the second door to the right then up one flight of stairs and then you’re back at the Meadows where you came from,”

“Yes I’ll find my karmic circle at the Meadows,” Quentin said

“I’d stay clear of officials you know? They’re not big fans of people who come from time loops and could get the wrong idea,” Penny warned.

“Right,”

‘And I wouldn’t trust anybody, there are very few actually loyal people. They exist of course, but you’re not going to find them in a bowling alley.” Penny said walking Quentin out the door, “and it's a really good thing you’re not from timeline 28, 6, or 14. They’ve caused quite some trouble for the library and librarians so the Underworld staff isn’t fond of them. Hero types you know how they are, always wanting quests and keeping the loyalties they had in life.”

“Yeah I’m most definitely glad I’m not them,” Quentin said as they walked outside of the room.

“I don’t want to see you for a long time Coldwater,” Penny said.

“Don’t take this the wrong way Penny but I feel the same way,” Quentin said giving Penny a meaningful hug.

 

When they broke apart Quentin followed the instructions to go back to The Meadows, careful not to run into anyone. After all, he had to be sneaky if he wanted to sneak out and get back to the land of the living.

* * *

Eliot was aware he should feel lucky, he should feel happy.

 Or well happy was a terrible word, he should be relieved maybe? That didn’t work either.

He should feel something. They hadn’t set off a chain reaction (and if they had, they hadn’t heard about it yet anyway). Magic was back in full.  He had his body back, the monsters were gone, sure he had to walk with a cane but it could be worse.

 With the lack of ambient, things could have gone very bad, very quickly.

He had survived. He, Eliot Waugh, had survived.

But what was the use of that when Quentin was dead? Quentin was **_dead_ **.

 Of all the scenarios he’d thought about since he promised himself he’d be brave, that wasn’t one he considered. He’d considered Quentin being happy and accepting him back. He’s considered Quentin rejecting _him_ for a change. He’d considered Quentin screaming at him, Quentin kissing him, Quentin glaring and Quentin smiling.

He’d never considered Quentin dying. More so, he never considered he wouldn’t get to say goodbye. Because that was the kicker wasn’t it? He never even said goodbye. How could Eliot be okay or even moderately happy when he couldn’t even say goodbye to the man he loved. 

He’d never had the chance to make things right, Quentin died thinking that Eliot hadn’t loved him. It was Eliot’s own fault. Wasn’t that the kicker? So how could he be _happy_? The love of his life was gone. Eliot was just numb. 

It’s been two weeks since they told him the news. Two weeks since their bonfire. Kady’s apartment had become the place where everyone hung out but Eliot found he couldn’t be there.

It seems ironic he spent so long trying to get out of the happy place and now the only place he felt moderately sane was in his old room. He’d spent the first week in Quentin’s room, until Margo told him that was too masochistic, even for him. So now he just… did nothing.

He knew Margo was worried about him but he wasn’t going to do anything drastic. He couldn’t do that to her. Not after Quentin. He loved Margo too much to have her lose both her best friends.

The thing was that there wasn’t much for him to do. Dean Fogg admitted he was basically enrolled at Brakebills and could finish his last year and a half if he wanted to. But Eliot was pretty sure that came from a place of guilt. After all, he was part of the dominos that toppled the entire board.

He’d betrayed them, but then again so had Alice, and Eliot’s recent personal growth meant admitting he’d fucked up as well. If he hadn’t shot the Monster, if Alice hadn’t destroyed the keys, if Fogg hadn’t sold them out. There were too many what-ifs and not enough answers.

 Hindsight is the biggest bitch of them all.  

 He couldn’t go back to Fillory. He’d taken one step on it and had fallen apart, assaulted by memories of Q, not just of their 50 years but of everything else. He’d thought of all their moments in the castle, their moments during the quest. But especially the coronation.

He didn’t know it then, he had still been reeling from Mike, the Beast and becoming High King. The moment Quentin had crowned him as the high king had been the moment he’d started to fall in love. It had been the one that changed it all. Even before the Monster happened he used to go back to that memory whenever he was sad or lonely.

So he hadn’t been able to actually stay in Fillory. For the first time in a very long time, he was completely unmoored. All he had left was to drink. **_And drink he did._**

Summer meant that the Physical Cottage was mostly empty so Eliot could just sit on the couch and drink. Was else was there to do? His musings were interrupted by the sound of heels coming down the stairs. Before he knew it Alice was standing in front of him.

“Can I help you with something?” He asked sarcastically.

“What are you doing?” Alice asked.

“Drinking most of the alcohol in this place,”

“You know 23 told us something interesting,” Alice said sitting down next to him, the only thing between them was his cane.

“Oh, and what did our _wise_ new traveler say?” Eliot said barely able to keep the bite from his voice. With how terrible Quentin’s wards were there was no way 23 hadn’t known. Which means he chose not to say anything. Which put him permanently on Eliot’s bad side.

“23 told us about how your happy place resembled this. I asked myself why would you want to stay in a place that reminded you of that and then it hit me,”

“What hit you?” Eliot said not looking up from staring at his Martini glass.

“A part of you is trying to pretend that you’re still stuck in your head. It thinks that if you stay here you can keep pretending. You can think that you’ll see Q when you get out of your head,” Alice said, hitting the nail in the head. But then again that shouldn’t surprise him, this is Alice Quinn after all. If anyone could figure it out, it would be her.

There was a momentary silence that fell over them as Eliot just stared at her before he put his glass on the table on his right.  

“So what?” Eliot started to say, “it’s the only fucking thing I have left. Excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to hold on to something. I don’t actually have anything left? I can’t travel to Fillory because it makes me want to scream, I can’t hide in learning magic again like Julia is doing. I can’t hide in a hedge revolution or in the library. My best friend can’t look at me in the face.” Eliot said as his voice kept getting louder and louder, the veins in his neck throbbing. With a mocking tight-lipped smile, he continued, “No one can fucking look at me in the face. No one sees Eliot Waugh anymore, they see the monster that took over my body for months. Because it wasn’t enough to lose the love of my life, and the place I called home, no I had to lose **_my entire self_ **.”

He tried to get up and failed. Alice reached out but he swatted her hand away. He grabbed the damn cane that was now a constant in his life. The second time around he was able to get up.

“I can’t even walk or anything without the use of a cane. So yeah I’m going to stay here and wallow in my fucking misery because it’s the only thing I can do. It’s the only thing I can do to keep from exploding about how fucking pissed off I am,” Eliot said and the moment he said that a couple of glasses behind him shattered but he ignored it.

“I’m fucking pissed that no one fucking bothered to check if Quentin was okay. I’m fucking pissed about the fact that the man I love committed suicide and I can’t even be mad at him because he’s gone. I’m pissed at myself for being so idiotic and pushing him away. I’m pissed at Fogg for betraying us, I’m pissed at you for the keys. I’m pissed at Margo for coming up with the idea to shoot the monster and I’m pissed at myself for going through with it. I’m pissed at Julia for being too wrapped up in her goddess shit to see Quentin was drowning. I’m fucking pissed at 23 for leaving Quentin there.”

“Finally!” Alice exclaimed to which Eliot just stared confused.

“I could see the rage building and you weren’t saying anything.”

“How could I? Everyone was either scared of me or pitied me. They are all treating me with kid gloves so I wouldn’t explode,”

“But you needed to explode, and explode you did,” Alice said as they noticed the bar behind them was covered in broken glass. Eliot had always been powerful, a grieving and pissed off Eliot? Even more so.

“We’re going to have to replace so many glasses.”

“How do you feel, though?” Alice asked.

“Definitely not numb that’s for sure.” 

“We haven’t liked each other for a long time. Maybe we’re just too similar. We have a tendency to lash out at a moment’s notice. But I do know what it’s like to be unmade and remade again. I know what it’s like to come back to your body and feel like a stranger in it.”

“Thank you, Alice,” Eliot muttered and Alice got an idea. She grabbed his free hand.

“Come on, I have an idea to make you feel more, well you,” Alice said and Eliot figured what the hell and followed as Alice helped him get up the stairs to her room.

* * *

Quentin had followed Penny’s directions and now was in the Meadows. Where could he go that he wouldn’t be found? The last thing he needed was to run into a librarian.

  
Penny had many that abundantly clear. The Underworld was vast so it was easy to get lost and it wasn’t as if he had a map. He knew he should avoid the bowling alley so he wasn’t going to go there.

Quentin kept walking and keeping to himself until he saw a bookstore. There are bookstores in the Underworld? The last time he’d been in a bookstore he’d been Brian.

Brian had been so excited about a book, he couldn’t even remember the name. But he remembered thinking he was going to use it for the lesson plan. Then came the Monster waiting for him right outside. It was the beginning of everything that went wrong. 

That brought too many bad memories, so he’d skip the bookstore for now.

He kept trying to remember what Penny said, don’t trust anybody was the big one outside of don’t run into librarians — which duh. But what were the timelines he mentioned? 28, 6, and 14.

Right! Maybe if he could find someone from those he could figure things out. He wished he’d paid attention the last time he and Julia came to the Underworld. Although Quentin doubted going to Elysium would help him now, he was trying to avoid the gods after all.

He just had to keep walking and hopefully, he’d find something — anything — that would help him out. That’s when he saw them, the librarians. Only librarians would dress like that. Shit, how could he make it so they don’t see him?

_Think Coldwater! Think!_

He saw a smaller house on the edge of a forest and discreetly made his way there. He could hide there even if it was just for a minute until the danger passed. Before the librarians could look his way he ran inside the house and closed the door behind him. He let out a relieved breath.

“Of all the gin joints in all the worlds, he walks into mine,”

 

Quentin looked up to see Arielle — his Ari —  sitting at her table staring at him with a smile on her face. Then her words hit him.

“Did you just quote Casablanca?” Quentin asked with a laugh, that was definitely the last thing he expected to happen.

* * *

They walked into Alice’s room and Eliot felt slightly uncomfortable. Alice had reclaimed this room after they had gotten back. Eliot could count on one hand the number of times he’d been inside of it since he’d met Alice.

“Quinn, what is going on?” Eliot asked from his place at the door as he saw her looking through her closet.

“Found it!” Alice said excitedly.

“Found what?” Eliot wondered as she brought the box she was carrying and put it on the bed.

“You said you wanted people to stop looking at you and seeing the monster right?”

“Right,” Eliot muttered, knowing that no matter what Alice had planned that was unlikely to happen.

“Well I can’t help how you feel inside but I actually can help you look more like yourself,”

“How exactly?”

“A haircut,” Alice said like it was nothing.

“A haircut? Do you even know how to cut hair?” Eliot wondered.

“Of course I do, I was top of my class when I did the seminar.”

“Wait? Seminar?” Eliot asked every new moment more confusing than the last. There was too much alcohol and grief for him to connect any dots.

“My mother said I would never be able to learn how to do my hair. That it wasn’t in me, so I set out to set her wrong,”

“That makes more sense,” Eliot admitted.

“My mother is … complicated.”

“Your mom and my dad should get together and go bowling,” Eliot quoted.

“I loved that movie.”

“So you were saying you went to beauty school or something?” Eliot asked then he smirked, “Are you an actual beauty school dropout?”

“No,” Alice said rolling her eyes, “I didn’t drop out, I finished the program. Well, I finished the hair program. Charlie died before I could do the rest,”

“I’m sorry,”

“It was a long time ago, and while that was a different Alice I still have all her skills,” Alice remarked, “You said you wanted people to stop looking at you as the Monster? So change the look,”

“Okay,” Eliot said sitting down in the chair, Alice our a barber’s cape on him.

“Any preferences?”

“Not too short, just enough that it doesn’t look like the monster,” Eliot asked.

“I can do that,” Alice said as she got her tools out.

* * *

“So Casablanca?” Quentin asked and Ari just rolled her eyes.

“Really that’s what you want to know?” Ari asked.

“What? I’m curious,”  
“Typical Q,” Ari said, “Yes I’ve seen Casablanca, the director is dead therefore it’s available to us Underworld denizens,”  
“So the bookstore I just passed?” Quentin asked curiously.

“You will only find works from people who are dead,” Ari said and smiled at him, "speaking of, I finally got to read the Fillory books you two were always going on about. Slightly weird but entertaining,”

“Wait — the Fillory books?” Quentin asked.

“Yeah, they arrived a few days before you did — like a week or two ago maybe?”

“Last I checked he was alive,” Quentin said.

“Rumor is he immediately went down under if you catch my drift. People here might be wicked at times but they still hate people who hurt children,” Ari explained.

“Well good fucking riddance,” Quentin said.

“So what the fuck are you doing here Q, it’s too early for you,” Ari asked worriedly.

“I made a mistake, it’s a long story,”

“Then it’s a good thing we have a lot of time then,” Ari said and Quentin knew what the expression on her face meant. He was going to have to tell her everything. So he started from the point where everything started to go sideways, the throne room.   

* * *

Sometimes Eliot really hated admitting when Alice was right about something. She was good at pretty much everything, it wasn’t fair to the rest of humanity. But he had to admit she hadn’t been bluffing when she said she was good at cutting hair. She had cut his hair and styled it and it looked so much better. Looking at himself in the mirror, it was the first time he actually saw himself.

 

So Alice might have been on to something, **_maybe_**.

 

“Semi fun-fact,” Alice said sitting up on the bed and Eliot just turned his chair towards her.

“I kissed Quentin.”

“And I care because?” Eliot said trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.

“Let me finish before you say whatever biting comment is on the tip of your tongue okay?”

Eliot conceded and made a go-ahead motion.

“The logistics are complicated but it wasn’t actually our Quentin. We did a timeshare spell so while our Quentin’s mind was in the past, past Quentin was in our Quentin,” Alice explained and Eliot could start to see where this was going.

“He kissed me and I kissed back, which is wrong on so many levels because it was still our Quentin’s body. He’s the last person that wanted to kiss me,” Alice said before continuing, “It was the Quentin that was in love with me. The one that brought me happiness. The first person other than Charlie to love me. When you haven’t had love in a very long time and someone just cares? It’s easy to get swept away.”

“... I know how that is.”

“I figured you might, you know, for all our bullshit we’re not actually that different,” Alice said and Eliot looked at her.

“I guess not.”

“But that wasn’t the point of the conversation.”

“Oh?”

“It’s what happened after. We came back from Brakebills South and he avoided me. I occupied myself with helping Kady. Then I walked into a room where he and Margo were talking. Margo saw me and walked out,”

“Sounds like Bambi,” Eliot said with a slight smile.

“Quentin stayed behind and said we needed to talk. I won’t give you the whole speech but the gist was that he wanted me back in his life. Considering our last moment was the kiss I misinterpreted things,” Alice said noting how Eliot seemed a bit more interested now, “I tried kissing him again and he stopped me this time. He said he’d always love me but that he wasn’t in love with me anymore.”

Eliot turned to look at Alice, really look at her for what could be the first time since the conversation started.

“On some level, I knew. After all, no one knows the lengths Quentin will go to bring back the person he loves better than me right?” Alice said sardonically looking away from him.

“Alice..” Eliot started to say, not knowing what he could say.

“It’s no one’s fault. It’s just life. I asked him if he was in love with you, and I don’t know if it was because I was the only one that had actually _asked,_ ” Alice said, “but as soon as I asked everything came out. He told me about the 50 years, the boating quest, peaches, and plums.”

He’d also told her about a certain moment in a throne room, had fallen apart while he said it. But Alice didn’t think it was her place to talk about it, not when Eliot had enough guilt on his shoulders.

“You know what I hate though?”

“Me?” Eliot muttered.

“Actually no, and before you ask it’s not the fact that you two had feelings either.”

“Then what?” Eliot asked curiously.

“I had to be the one to ask him about it. I was gone most of the time, and we hadn’t been in a good place when I left. Yet in all that time he spent with the monster, in all the time he spent fighting and trying not to fall apart. No one even bothered to ask why he was doing it. No one ever bothered to check in on him.”

“Fucking typical.”

“Right? Like I get 23 and Josh not asking, or even Kady... but Julia? Margo? How did no one fucking realize that he was drowning? I don’t get it.”

“I honestly don’t either,” Eliot said and then he put his hand inside one of the pockets of his pants and pulled out a joint, “Sharesies?”

“You’ve got a lighter?” Alice said taking her shoes off and motioning for him to sit on the bed with her. He sat on the edge of the bed and took his shoes off before resting against the headrest.

“Quinn we’re magicians,” Eliot said lighting up the joint with his magic and taking a drag of it before passing it along. Alice repeated his motions and handed it back.

“I’m sorry,” Eliot said

“It’s not your fault that Quentin fell in love with you,”  
“Not that,”

“Then what?” Alice asked not knowing what he could be apologizing for, “you’re not talking about the threesome, are you? Because you sort of apologized for that with the whole crowning me thing,”

“Not that either, you remember Plover’s house?”

“I don’t think I could forget it if I tried,” She said taking another hit of the joint.

“You were being a good person, a much better person than any of us. I lashed out,” Eliot said

“It was a long time ago.”

“I never apologized though, it’s actually one of my worst memories.”

“What?” Alice asked surprised, of all the things she’d have expected that was not one of them.

“When I was stuck in my head I had to go through my worst memories to find a door — it’s not important, what matters is that I never apologized to you.”

“Eliot” Alice said unsure of what to say and just passed the joint to him.

“It’s not an excuse I know but I was going through a lot at that moment. I had just killed Mike after realizing he had been using me the entire time. That it had been _the beast_ all this time. Everything I screamed at you was something I was feeling about myself,” Eliot said taking a hit.

“You know what happened to Mike wasn’t your fault right? The fault lies in Martin’s shoulders, you were protecting everyone. That wasn’t Mike anymore,” Alice said softly.

“I still should not have called you an arrogant little twat and I apologize for it,” Eliot said

“Apology accepted,”

“We were friends once weren’t we?” Eliot said quietly, “maybe we could be again? I think Q would have liked that,”

Alice was frozen, did he really mean that? Being a part of the group, a real part of it, had been something she’d always wanted. She’d lost it after the threesome and never actually regained it. Even during the quest, it was like she was still on the outside looking in, never to be a part of it.

 

Which was frankly ridiculous, sure she’d been a Niffin but Julia’s actions had gotten Alice killed and she’d been welcomed back a lot sooner.

“Forget about it I don’t know why I asked,” Eliot stammered looking away and Alice realized she had yet to say something, “it was stupid,”

“No,” Alice said grabbing his hand which made him look her way, “it’s not even remotely stupid, I’d really like to be friends again.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Alice said with a soft smile and got one in return before the Eliot she’d always known was back.

“I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with me right?” Eliot joked and Alice laughed.

“I can think of a few people,”

“Low blow Quinn, low blow,” Eliot laughed, _it felt really good to laugh_ , “Now stop hogging the joint.”

“Oh, I’m hogging the joint?” Alice said with a scoff, “it’s in your hand Waugh.”

“There’s nothing left,” Eliot muttered and put out the joint in an ashtray then grabbed his cane from the side of the bed and got up.

“Where are you going?”

“We’re going to get chips!”

Eliot made his way out of the room and Alice followed after him trying to get him to pace himself, he was still injured after all. There was something in the air and both of them felt it. It was the beginning of something or maybe it was a resurgence of something long forgotten.

 

Either way both Eliot and Alice knew something had changed and there was a little bit of hope in the air. If they could take the first steps in rebuilding their friendship then maybe other miracles were possible as well.

* * *

Ari just sighed as she heard Quentin’s story. Her boys had been through a lot, hadn’t they? All she wanted was for them to be happy.

“You never take the easy way do you Q?” She asked softly.

“What easy way?” Quentin retorted.

“Exactly, please tell me you didn’t actually buy the bullshit about Eliot not being stupidly in love with you,”  
“I — he’s very convincing,”

“No, he’s not. He’s never been very good at being angry at you, even when you fought he’d stare at you with those puppy eyes. So why would you buy for one second when he says he’s not in love.”

“Because that was easier,” Quentin admitted, “it was easier to just follow what my brain was telling me,”

Ari just nodded because she could see where he was coming from. Plus she knew nothing she said would change her mind, only Eliot could. Which was the crux of the problem wasn’t it.

“Have you been here alone all this time?” Quentin wondered.  
“I’ve met quite a few of my neighbors and I’ve got Teddy,”  
“Where is he?” Quentin asked softly. He wanted nothing more than to see his son again.

“Who knows — he never really tells me anything. He’ll be back in a few days,”

“Wait if I stayed here with you,” Quentin suggested.

“For right now or for good?”

“I mean so you’re not lonely,”

“Oh, no Coldwater — you’re not using me as a way to avoid things.”

“I’m not!”

“Look I’d love to have you with me but it’s not your time,”  
“It wasn’t your time either,” Quentin pointed out.

“I got sick, I died from natural causes. With the time that has passed it would have already been my time. You’re still young, you don’t get to give up now because things are too hard.”  
“They’re not just hard — they’re impossible.”

“All the more reason for you to do your best,” Arielle told him.

“What if my best isn’t enough?” Quentin asked softly.

“It will be — I believe in you Q,”

“So I guess I should stop hiding in here right?”

“That’s right,” Ari said as Quentin gave her a hug. He hadn’t expected to see her again and now he had to say goodbye. But it was for the best right? He needed to start actually living rather than staying in the past.

“Thank you — for everything,” Quentin said as we waved goodbye and went out the door.

 

He needed to find a way out of this place.  

* * *

It had been two days since Alice and Eliot had rehashed everything and started to rebuild their friendship. She had been helping him out in different ways. His clothes were stylish again, still black though because he was in mourning. It felt like he would always be in mourning. But Eliot no longer felt like being numb so he had stopped drinking his weight in alcohol. That was progress, right?

 

He was on the couch reading when Margo came into the room. Ever since the failed trip to Fillory they had kind of been avoiding each other. Eliot was pretty sure the avoiding had been mutual which made it all the more awkward. 

“Since when do you hang out with Alice Quinn?” Margo asked

“Well, that’s what happens when your best friend ignores you and can’t look at you for longer than 5 minutes. Ironically enough _Alice Quinn_ is the only person not treating me with kid gloves,” Eliot remarked.

 

Then Margo just sat down on the couch next to him. He noticed the change in demeanor instantaneously.

“Margo?”

“You’re right I’ve been ignoring you,”

“Because of the monster?” Eliot muttered.

“Fuck no,” Margo answered, the fact that the monster had taken Eliot’s body was low in her current worries.

“Then why?”

“Because I didn’t see it. One of my best friends committed suicide and I didn’t see it,” Margo said burying her face in her hands.

“Bambi”

“Why didn’t I see it El? Why wasn’t I paying attention? I could have said something! I _should_ have said something.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it? I know — I knew Q. We’d have conversations about it over the years and when he needed me the most I was gone. The truth is I couldn’t look at you. It hurt so much to look at you and not have you looking back. So I ran to Fillory. I tried occupying myself with ruling my kingdom because at least I had that. I just left him with a monster that had your face and no one to help,” Margo said as she sobbed in Eliot’s arms. So immersed in their grief they didn’t even notice Julia walk into the Physical Cottage.

“It wasn’t your fault Margo,” Julia said walking towards them, Eliot and Margo scooted a bit to the side to let Julia sit on Margo’s other side.

“If we wanted to fucking blame someone, here I am,” Julia said looking at her hands.

“Julia —“ Eliot said as Julia lifted a hand motioning for him to stop.

“Let me get it out,” Julia said.

“Very well,” Eliot said.

“I was here the entire time or well almost the entire time. The moment our memories were back I went to the apartment to look for him. Things seemed okay for a bit, he excelled at Push, we did the heist and got the Deweys. He had to deal with terrible bad luck but it worked out until it didn’t.”

“What happened?” Margo asked.

“He got a voicemail that his dad was dead and he had missed the funeral.”

“Fuck,” Margo muttered.

“Yeah and isn't’ that the kicker of the secret identities? I got to go to Brakebills, Kady got to put bad guys away, Penny was a DJ, you were a — what were you?” Julia asked

“I was a fashion editor,”

“You know what Q told me?”

“What?” Eliot asked.

“While we were all off living mostly regular lives, Brian got kidnapped by the Monster and spent two months being basically traumatized, so he couldn’t even get a moment of peace. So Quentin’s reward for turning magic back on was his dad dying, the man he loves being possessed and getting traumatized.” Julia said sardonically.

“Fucking Fogg,” Eliot muttered.

“I know he’s made up for it a bit but that’s a fucking mood,” Margo said.

“Yeah, and you know what best friend of the year did? I left him alone. He had to deal with his father’s things and with a deadbeat mother, who loved reminding him he broke things. I was in Fillory trying to find out what the fuck I was. He told me to go but I should have stayed. _I should have helped_.”

“He was stubborn as all hell when he wanted to be,” Eliot said trying to help Julia but not being sure how.

“You know how there are things that happen and you don’t think about them at the time? Then the dam breaks and it’s all you think about?” Julia muttered.

“Trust me I know,” Eliot said.

“Break my bones, strangle me, I’m too tired to care anymore.” Julia recited and they both turned to look at her, “I thought he was bluffing — just trying to bluff with the monster.”

“What are you talking about?”

“One of the two moments that keep replaying in my head. The monster was drunk and bored and he wanted to take pills, Q wouldn’t let him. They fought. The monster put his hands around Q’s throat and that’s what Q told him. That was red fucking flag how the fuck did I miss it?”

“I should have cornered him I should have made him talk,” Julia said and then ran her hand through her hair “I want to blame being a goddess for being so disconnected. When I finally reached out I still didn’t see it,” Julia cried and Margo rubbed circles on her back.

“I blamed you, both of you,” Eliot admitted and both of them turned to him.

“El,”

“The truth is that it isn’t on just one person, it’s not on Julia, or you Margo. It’s not only Alice or me, not even on Quentin. Because I can’t completely blame him for giving up. I’ve been there. That’s the ugly aspect of suicide, there’s no one to fucking blame.”

“The thing is we did fuck up. All of us fucked up in one way or another and we have to live with that,” Margo said wiping her tears away then she grabbed both Julia and Eliot’s hands.

 

That’s how Alice found them a few minutes later.

“Oh good you’re all here, that’s convenient,” Alice said.

“What are you going on about Alice?” Margo asked.

“I’m just saying it saves me the trouble of hunting you down,” Alice remarked.

“Hunting us down for what?” Eliot wondered.

“Your idea from last night I’ve been researching it,” Alice said as if that explained everything and maybe in her head it did.

“We were slightly high last night dear you’re gonna have to elaborate,” Eliot said softly.

“I know that Eliot, but among your ramblings, you did something that got stuck in my head,” Alice remarked without the bite it would have had once upon a time.

“I did? Of course, I did,” Eliot said sitting up and paying attention.

“What did he say?” Julia wondered.

“He said I wish we could storm the Underworld and steal Q back,”

“Can we do that?” Margo asked suddenly interested in the conversation.

“I don’t know. There’s nothing that says it can’t be done. We could petition a God, after all, we did solve a major problem of theirs, and it would involve calling in a lot of favors and a lot of research but —.”

“but Q would do it for us,” Eliot said and Julia nodded.

“I’m in, where do we start?” Margo said jumping into action.

 

If you'd asked Eliot before all of this if they'd be able to get along he'd laugh in your face. But this is bigger than them, bigger than their past. Bigger than shades, threesomes or niffins. It was bigger than all the possible crowns in Fillory or that damn fruit.

This was about Quentin.

* * *

Quentin kept walking until he found a park. Was it actually a park? He didn’t know but it was good enough. And it didn’t bring any terrible memories to mind. 

  
He sat there for a while, he didn’t know how long. Then there was a hand on his back.  
  
“Hello Curly Q,”  
“Dad” Quentin muttered, he never thought he’d see his dad again. His dad pulled him into a hug and Quentin felt himself cry for the first time in what seemed like forever.  
“I know Curly Q, I know,”

* * *

They had moved their study sessions to Kady’s apartment, apparently, it had better light. Plus Margo and Alice agreed that Eliot needed to stop torturing himself by being in the cottage. 

Seeing Margo and Alice team up to gang on him was all kinds of scary. All he could think was that Quentin would love it.

 

Honestly, Margo hadn’t needed much convincing to bring Alice into their inner circle once more. All he said was “Bambi, Alice is our friend now,” earning a small smile from the blonde in question and a smile from Margo. One of those smiles were you don’t know if she’s planning world domination or a shopping trip, probably both. 

She’d turned to them and said “Good, I’m glad someone else has a brain in this place,” Margo joked and linked arms with Alice leaving Eliot staring after them.

So now they were all sitting in Kady’s living room trying to decipher the best way to get to Quentin. Kady had joined the moment they told her the plan. It warmed Eliot’s heart that so many people loved Quentin.

“Hey, Jules have you gotten anywhere in contacting the gods?” Kady asked.

“Not yet, I need to find a way to contact Hades, he’s the one we’re most likely to get on our side.”

“Why?” Margo asked.

“He’s the ruler of the Underworld. If there’s anyone we have to convince it’s him. OLU was his wife and technically we did avenge her so he definitely owes us a big favor.”

“The problem is contacting him,” Eliot said.

“Exactly,” Julia agreed.

“What about after?” Kady asked.

“What do you mean?” Alice wondered.

“Quentin’s body was destroyed in the mirror world wasn’t it?” Kady asked and she saw the reactions to her statement, “none of you had thought about.”

“I’ve tried not to think about that moment honestly,” Alice said a blank look washed over her eyes and it was like she was reliving it all again. Like the scene was playing as a loop in her head.

“I need some air,” Alice said getting up,

“Alice,” Eliot said

“I’m fine, I just — I need a moment,” Alice said and walked out to the balcony.

 

Eliot and Margo looked at each other and then back at Kady and Julia.

“I’ll go,” Julia said

“Jules, don’t take this the wrong way but you two aren’t exactly friends,” Kady said

“I know and if we’re going to do this we need to clean all the slates, and there’s something I need to do,” Julia said as she gathered her courage and went outside. 

Alice was outside with her hands on the railing just looking at the horizon line.

“I’ll be inside in a minute,” Alice murmured.

“You know it’s okay not to be alright right?”

“Spare me the bullshit please.”

“It’s not bullshit. Penny told me how everything went down I think he thought it would make things better. Complete honesty and all that.”

“Men are idiots,” Alice remarked.

“No one is arguing that,” Julia said.

“Why did you come out here Julia?” Alice asked, unlike Eliot and even Margo to some extent, she and Julia had never been friends. In fact, it always seemed like Julia disliked her so why the pretense now.

“We are embarking on a dangerous mission and it’s better not to go in with things that could jeopardize any of us. So I wanted to clean the slate.”

“Our slate is clean don’t worry.”

“It’s not, and you know it,” Julia said, “My actions, they lead to your death. I never apologized for that. I betrayed the group by stealing the knife and then fucked up the first version of the spell. If I hadn’t you wouldn’t have died,” Julia said and there really wasn’t much for Alice to say, “and then my magic almost killed you during the quest.”

“I’m sorry for how I acted in that situation too. I’m sorry for destroying the keys making you give up your goddess powers,”

“That was my choice though,” Julia said leaving the _unlike now_ unspoken.

“How are you dealing with that?”

“Probably as well as you are with the nightmares of Q’s death or Eliot’s nightmares of the monster.”

“So not good at all then,” Alice said.

“We’re all a fucking mess,” Julia said.

“And yet we’re the best chance Q’s got.”

“I have no idea if that’s tragic or uplifting,” Julia muttered.

“Maybe a bit of both,” Alice said as they heard the door open behind them to reveal Eliot and Margo.

“We good out here?” Margo asked.

“I mean mentally we’re all fucked in one way or another but the two of us? Yeah, we’re good.” Alice said.

“Since we’re clearing the air and shit. I might have done it to get even,” Julia said looking at Eliot. Eliot put his hand around Julia’s shoulder as they walk back inside.

“Yeah that was a dick move,” Eliot agreed as she helped him sit on the couch again. Julia then took her place on the love seat again.

“I was so fucking angry and hurt and frustrated. He was kind of right — Not about being a charity case I could never.. but I didn't get why he got magic and I didn't.”

“I want to hurt him and I went too fucking far,” Julia admitted.

“You should have just hexed his underwear or something,” Margo said.

“I was a terrible person and a terrible friend.”

“Friend yes, person? eh, Marina is a master manipulator,” Margo said.

“We’ve all had reactions we regret. I was so pissed off when he brought me back that I lashed out,” Alice said.

“Yeah and we know I can be slightly biting at times,” Eliot muttered.

“Oh god… Coldwater was a type,” Margo said and they all turned to look at her.

“She’s true, he does,” Kady added and just started to laugh and suddenly they were all laughing.

“I’m going to apologize for that and try to be a better friend,” Julia said.

“I might kick his ass for doing this to us,” Margo replied.

“Oh please, we all know the first thing you’re going to do is hug him, Bambi,” Eliot told her.

“I can totally do both, I contain multitudes,” Margo said with a smile.

“Okay back to the point did we figure out what to do about Q’s body?” Julia asked.

“Emily Greenstreet,” Kady said.

“Wasn’t she the one that turned Mayakovsky into a bear?” Eliot asked.

“Why would she help?” Margo asked.

“She and Q were ummm close,” Kady said but everyone knew what she meant.

“How does a drop-out who fucked Q help?” Margo wondered, was she missing something?

“She’s powerful by herself and she has a connection to Mayakovsky so she could convince him to help us,”

“Mayakovsky built my body so he definitely knows how to do it,” Alice reminded them.

“We’ll need to convince both of them to do the spell,” Julia said.

“Alice, Margo and I are in charge of convincing both Emily and Mayakovsky of doing the spell,” Eliot said, he had a feeling they’d need the combined fierceness of both Margo and Alice to convince them.

“Jules you need to make Contact with Hades, and I’ll check in with Zelda to see if she has a way to get to the Underworld and back, after all, she owes us,” Kady pointed out.

* * *

Quentin had just finished telling his father everything that had happened since the last time they had talked. It had been a lot, no wonder Quentin had felt so tired. If he managed to get back to the real world he was going to take a very long nap. Preferably with Eliot in his sights. 

“I apparently had to die to realize how much I really wanted to live,” Quentin said.

“Life is full of irony kid,” Ted said, “but I’m glad I don’t have to convince you to go back.”

“You want me to go back?”

“Quentin I don’t want you here so young, no father wants that. I don’t care if I have to wait to see you again, I’d rather you live a full life with the man you love than be selfish just because I want to see you,”

“Wait — who said anything about love,”

“You’re telling me you don’t love the man you spent almost a year trying to save?” Ted asked with his patented don’t bullshit me look.

“He doesn’t love me back,”

Once again his father looked unimpressed.

“Didn’t you say you married him and you two grew old together?” Ted wondered.

“When we got back to our timeline I asked him to give us another chance and he said no,”

“Have you ever thought that maybe he was as scared as you. We all tend to run from the things that frighten us the most,”

“I.. maybe,” Quentin said after all Ari had mentioned something similar so maybe it had _some_ merit _._

“Okay I’m going to change the subject because I can see I’m not going to get through to you about this,” Ted said, “What’s your plan kid?”

“I am trying to find a way to get back and I don’t know how to do it,”

“Rule #1 don’t eat or drink anything that is offered,”

“What?”

“Come on Quentin you’ve read I don’t know how many books. This rule should be easy to understand, once you’ve eaten something in the Underworld you can’t actually leave,”

“Right I knew that,” Quentin muttered.

“Second I might have someone who can help you out with your quest,”

“Who?”

“You’ll see, now come along it’s a bit of a walk to where we’re going.”

* * *

Emily Greenstreet was preparing for her day when there was a knock on her door. She ignored it because she was going to be late for work. Ever since magic came back she’d gotten a new job. One that let her use magic, she had missed it a bit and she was good at it.

  
There was another loud knock on the door. She should probably get that. It was most likely one of her asshole neighbors. The quicker she dealt with it the quicker she could get to work. She opened the door to reveal Margo Hanson, Alice Quinn, and some attractive tall man. She really didn’t have time for this, she tried closing the door but the man stuck his cane in the way.  
  
All three of them walked inside and closed the door behind them. The man with the cane resting against the door. So there was really no way out.

“Hey Em, can we talk?” Margo said all too sweetly.

“What do you want?” Emily asked, “I need to get to work.”

“Oh we called your work you’re home sick with the flu,” the man interjected.

“How did you know where I worked?” Emily asked.

“Alice and Eliot checked with Fogg,” Margo said as if it was nothing.

“Again, what do you want?” Emily asked resigned to the fact that she had to listen to whatever they came to say. She sat on her couch and turned to look at them with a raised brow.

“We need to talk to both you and your husband,” Alice stated.

“I haven’t talked to my husband in a bit and I don’t intend to start now,” Emily remarked, she’d even started the process of divorce but it wasn’t the easiest thing.

“We need both your help and we’re not leaving until you hear us out,”  Margo said.

“I’d listen to her, she can be quite stubborn when she wants to be,” Eliot said from his place at the door.

“We’d have to go to Brakebills,” Emily said and at their confused look she continued, “Mischa is in Brakebills South. The only way to get there now is via a portal created after the geese malfunction,”

“Geese malfunction?” Eliot wondered.

“The ambient was low so transforming into geese didn’t go so well for the latest Brakebills class,” Alice explained as Eliot shuddered.

“Yikes,” Eliot muttered.

“Yeah the portal is at Brakebills,” Emily explained.

“Then let's go then, time's a-wastin',” Margo said as they made their way out of the apartment. They made it to Brakebills in record time and Emily showed them where the portal was. She tried to get out of going with them but they wouldn’t budge. Whatever they needed her for, was definitely something important.  
  
They went through the portal and there it was Brakebills South. Neither Eliot nor Margo had been here in quite a while but Alice had just been here, with Quentin. It was weird being here without him.  
  
“Mischa you have company,” Emily called out from behind the door.

“I’m busy!” He answered, “tell them to come back never,”

Emily turned to look at them and Margo rolled her eyes storming into his office.

“Never doesn’t really work for us,” She then took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Alice helped Eliot walk into the room and sit in the other chair while she stood between the two. Emily preferred to stay standing in the back.  
  
Mayakovsky took one look at them and scoffed, “oh it’s your group, what do you want I’m busy!”

“We need to talk to you about Quentin,” Alice said.

“What did B- do now?”

“He’s dead,” Eliot said in a deadpan voice.

“Oh,” Mayakovsky said, “I’m sorry he was a good lad.”

“We need you to do for him what you did for me,” Alice stated.

“But he’s dead no?” Mayakovsky asked.

“He is but we’re getting him back and his body was destroyed in the mirror world so he does need a body to return to,” Margo explained.

“What is it with you people and not letting life take its course. Bringing back niffins, turning off magic and turning it on again and now you want to bring a soul back from the dead,” Mayakovsky complained, “not possible,”

“I told you we should have gone with Fogg,”  Eliot said I’m a stage whisper to Alice and Margo.

“You think Henry Fogg can do this? I thought you were smarter than that.”

“I know he can’t but he’s been alive a long time especially if you count — how many is it, Alice?”

“40 time loops.”

“Exactly 40 time loops. He’s got to know someone that can create a body for Q. We’ll make sure to let them know that Mayakovsky himself said he couldn’t do it.” Eliot remarked and Emily had to hide a smirk, because oh they were _good_. They knew exactly where to press.

“I don’t have the magic necessary and I’d very much not like to niffin out,”

“That’s not necessarily true, is it?” Alice asked as Mayakovsky turned to look at her. Alice walked towards the closet in his office and opened it to reveal a large battery,

“When we came back from the mirror world the magic levels were off. Instead of being in a drought, we were suddenly in a surplus. It lasted a full week before the levels went back to normal. You’re not the type to let an opportunity like that pass you by so I bet you filled up quite a few of these batteries. Or am I wrong?”  
  
Both Eliot and Margo looked extremely proud of Alice as she took her seat on Margo’s armrest.

“I’ll do it,” Emily said as they all turned to look at her.

“You will?” Margo asked.

“If Mischa can’t then I will, Quentin was a nice guy he deserves a second chance,” Emily said.

“It’s not that _Mischa can’t_ it’s that _Mischa won’t,_ ” Mayakovsky interjected.

“I’m a good magician I can do it too and I know where he keeps the batteries,” Emily said smirking at her husband.

“I’m very grateful that you’ve decided to help but I have to ask... Is Coldwater’s dick really that good? I love him but I don’t remember it being that good.” Margo asked and all he got in return were stares, “It’s an honest question,”

“There were a few times when it was very good but most of the time it was decent,” Alice said.

“It was good enough,” Emily said, “I cared for the guy, he was really sweet but this is mostly to spite Mischa,”

“That makes more sense,” Margo agreed as Eliot laughed, “Don’t think I didn’t notice how you didn’t give your opinion.”

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell,” Eliot said fondly. His memories of Quentin were his own, he didn’t have to share them in a room that included Emily Greenstreet and Mayakovsky.

“How did B- sleep with all of you?” Mayakovsky asked confused, “he is — was... eh and you’re all...” he said making gestures.

“I think he wondered the same thing,” Alice said with a small smile.

“So can you take us to where the batteries are?” Margo asked

“Sure thing,” Emily said.

“She turned me into a bear you know? I don’t know if I’d trust her magic,” Mayakovsky complained.

“You deserved it,” Emily said from her place sitting on top of the desk next to the door.  
“It was terrible, none of you know what I went through, you can’t even imagine,” Mayakovsky complained, “I am still recovering!”

Eliot clasped his hand around his cane, Mayakovsky was complaining about being a bear after the year _Eliot himself_ went through? You have got to be kidding. Alice and Margo looked at each other and then back at El. He was going to flip, wasn’t he?  
  
“Yes we get it you were a bear boohoo for you. I think it’s the best thing your wife here did,” Eliot said as Emily sat up.

“Excuse me,” Mayakovsky said.

“Do you know how I spent the last year? We got magic back for you ingrates and as a thank you — I got possessed by a monster. This _thing_ took control of my body and used it to do terrible things,” Eliot explained staring at Mayakovsky, “The monster traumatized the man I love, he tormented my loved ones to get them to help him. I managed to fight my way out of my mind place once and you know how I accomplished that?”

“No.”

“I did something you’d never do. I had to go through every painful and traumatic memory I have. I was a queer kid from rural Indiana so you can imagine I have a lot of those. I had to relieve everything to get to my most repressed and traumatic memory so I could tell my friends I was still alive. That was the last time I actually saw the man I loved.” Eliot said trying to compose himself. He wasn’t going to fall apart in front of Mayakovsky of all people.

“Tell me _Mischa_ have you ever had to really truly deal with the weight of your regrets? Feel the consequences of your mistakes? Hold the knowledge in your hands that you hurt the _best person_ in your life just because you were too fucking terrified? “ Eliot said staring at his hands with his voice cracking, “You promise you’ll be braver, that you’ll do things _right_ this time.  Then when you get back the first thing you find out is that the love of your life is dead. So that chance once again slips from your fingers.”  
  
Mischa Mayakovsky was a man that always had something to say. But he found that this time he had been struck completely speechless.  
  
“I don’t actually remember my time as the monster, or rather my conscious mind doesn’t. My subconscious mind remembers it quite well as evidenced by the number of times I’ve woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Plagued by nightmares I don’t actually remember. All I have is the taste of blood in my mouth and I look down at my hands expecting to see blood on them. I have a body that doesn’t feel like my own and a leg that doesn’t work as it should. They’re reminders that I survived even if at times it feels like I’m still trapped inside screaming to get out. ” Eliot said using his cane to get up and then turning towards Mayakovsky.  
  
“So tell me again how _hard_ it was for you to be a _bear_ ,” Eliot mocked before he limped out of the room.

* * *

They had walked for so long, Quentin wasn’t even aware of how long it had been. A day maybe? How long had he been in the Underworld?

“Are we there yet?” Quentin asked but Ted just laughed.

“You sound just like when you were a kid you know?”

“Well you won’t tell me where we’re going,” Quentin said with his hands in his pockets as he walked behind his father.

“There are eyes and ears everywhere,” Ted responded.

“Penny made an allusion to something like that,” Quentin said.

“Yeah well, the people in charge aren’t too fond of you, your friends, anyone involved in the time loop really.”

“It’s not like we did it ourselves, that was Jane,” Quentin responded.

“Yes but look at all you and your friends did in Timeline 40, what did you think you got up to in the previous ones?” Ted asked with a smile.

“I get your point.”

“Now not every timeline is trustworthy, as is the case with human beings, some of them fell more towards the side of the library. Others were more like you and your friends and actively fought librarians.”

“How do you know all this?”

“From an old friend,” Ted said as they finally reached their destination. It was a beautiful beach house. Quentin wasn’t going to think about why there was a beach house in the Underworld.

“Have we arrived?”

“We had to go far enough away that librarians are too busy to come and bother us,” Ted joked, “the house is a bit of a refuge for our karmic circle. It was basically built from the bottom up by one of its oldest members.”

The door opened and someone came out. They headed down the porch steps and towards where Ted and Quentin were standing. But this wasn’t just some random nobody, it was someone Quentin knew very well but hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Hi Q.”

“James.”

* * *

That had definitely not gone as expected. The plan had been simple, get to Emily and Mayakovsky, convince them to help for Q’s sake. If they resisted bring out the Charlie Quinn guilt card — Alice’s idea so it was fine. 

The plan had not been Eliot flies off the handle and tells Mayakovsky all about what he went through while he was possessed. Don’t forget to tell him about the nightmares you suffer from! Maybe he should have let Margo and Alice come alone.

Eliot had fucked things up as he usually did and now they might have offended the one fucking person they need to get Quentin back. All he wanted was to have Quentin back. To see him in front of him and be able to touch him. Be able to apologize for everything and hope beyond hope that Quentin would come back to the world of the living with them.

But what if he didn’t want to come back? What if they had fucked things up for good this time. His hand clutched at his cane — he couldn’t think about that. He had to have hope. Quentin would have hope in his place so Eliot had to have hope.

 

There was a knock on the door and he saw Margo come into the bedroom he was staying in.

 

“We need to head back to Brakebills, Kady has a lead and we need to move fast,” Margo said.

“Is Alice staying to convince him?” Eliot wondered.

“What are you talking about?” Margo looked at him in confusion.

“We still need someone to build the body you know?” Eliot reminded her, that was the whole reason they were here after all.

“Oh, Mayakovsky said yes,” Margo said.

“What? How?” Eliot asked surprised.

“It seems your speech did the trick. He and Emily are going to help build Quentin a new body but now we have to go because Kady said it was urgent,”

“Okay let’s go,” Eliot said as Margo helped him get up from where he was sitting. They met up with Alice at the portal and soon enough they were in Brakebills again.

They made their way to the cottage where they found Julia sitting on one of the couches while Kady paced the room.

“We’re here what’s the big news?” Alice asked as she helped Eliot sit down next to Julia.

“We have a way to enter the Underworld without dying or using dragons,” Kady said.

“That’s good news, right? Then why do you look worried?” Margo asked.

“It’s a door — it connects the main Library to the Underworld Library,” Kady explained.

“Which means we’d be walking into literal enemy territory,” Margo said.

“Yes but that’s not all,” Kady said.

“Of course not — because nothing is ever easy,” Eliot muttered.

“We need something to carry Quentin’s soul, at least to make it through the door and to Brakebills South,” Kady said.

“How do we do that?” Margo asked confused, how where they supposed to carry a soul? Was it even possible?

“According to my research to be able to carry a soul with you, you need two things. You must have both things otherwise it won’t stick and the moment we cross the door he’ll be sent back to the Underworld,” Julia explained holding the book in her hands.

“What are the two things?” Eliot asked.

“Something to carry the soul, it has to have meaning to the person whose soul it is, that way it bonds to it,” Julia said.

“And what’s the second one? You said two things,” Eliot said.

“A deep two-sided meaningful connection, it says both the souls have to be one. That’s the way they make it through the door,” Julia said softly. The whole room got quiet after that as they all looked at each other. What could be meaningful enough to hold Quentin’s soul?  

Eliot just stared at his hands and tried to think. He knew he loved Quentin more than anything in this world, he’d loved him for more than one lifetime, but was that enough? Or were they dooming Quentin either way?

* * *

“Surprised to see me Q?” James said with a smirk on his face. The smirk that had been a constant part of his life for a long time.

“You could say that,” Quentin asked once the shock wore off, “When did you?” 

Had James died while they were all caught up in their magic? Had they missed their friend’s death? Quentin already felt guilty about never looking him up. Maybe he shouldn’t have listened to Julia and reached out.

“I’m not your James if that’s what you’re asking, I’m from another timeline,” James explained interrupting Q’s mental tirade.

“I need to go do the thing we talked about and then I’ll be back, you’ll be okay here with him?” Ted asked James, confusing Quentin even more.

“Yes don’t worry I’ve got this, you know you can trust me, Ted,”

“Yeah I do kid,” Ted said and then turned to Quentin, “if I don’t see you before you do whatever it is you’re going to do. Just know that I am proud of you and I’ve always been proud of you, I love Curly Q and I want you to live a full happy life. No more making impromptu visits to the Underworld okay?”

“I love you, dad, I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Oh Q, I never blamed you for that. Not for one second.” Ted said giving his son a hug. Quentin rested his head on his dad’s shoulders. It was like he knew in his gut that this might very well be the last time he ever saw his dad.

The ugly voice in his head reminded him that he could stay here. It would be easier and he’d see his dad more often. But Quentin was trying to shut down that voice, or rather quiet it, as it can never be fully shut down.

 

He knew he had to go back. _He wasn’t done yet._

 

“I’m proud of you Curly Q, you know that right?” Ted asked.

“Yeah, I know that dad,” Quentin said and then his dad left the way they came.

“You want to come in Q?” James asked leading the way inside. As Quentin walked inside, the first thing he thought of was the TARDIS, it’s bigger on the inside.

“What is this place?” Quentin wondered.

“It’s a refuge for people like you and me,” James explained and at Q’s look, he continued, “People that the gods or the librarians aren’t exactly fond of. Did Ted explain about the timelines?”

“He said the higher-ups don’t like the people involved in the loops and that I should not trust anyone,”

“He’s right about that,”

“So should I trust _you_?” Quentin asked and James looked impressed. He was actually glad that Quentin wasn’t just trusting him because they were friends in another timeline. It meant he might actually make it out of here.

“There’s a lot of people here, even other versions of us and your friends, that would be willing to sell you out to get a MetroCard,” James explained.

“People who want to move on.”

“They don’t like being stuck in this place. Time can make fools of us all,” James commented, “I’m from timeline 28, you know how long I’ve been stuck here? And will continue to be stuck here?”

“Isn’t that more reason for me not to trust you?”

“The Higher-ups? They don’t just don’t like me. I am _persona non grata_. I’m dead so the eternal waiting is the best torture they could do.” James explained, “Let’s say even if they didn’t hate me and accepted some scheme of me betraying you for a metro card I couldn’t do it.”

“Why?”

“I’m still waiting for someone,” James said sadly looking out the window.  

“How is that?”

“The way I understand it is that the loops are all technically happening at the same time, some are further along, some are slower. The loop resets after your death but the timeline still goes on.”

“Like a parallel universe.”

“That’s my understanding, so while my timeline is a bit further along than yours because it started before, the difference isn’t extreme. How long has it been since the beast?”

“It seems so long ago, I want to say around 3 years but I can’t be sure.”

“Well I’ve been here 8 years, at least,” James said.

“I’m sorry,” Quentin said softly.

“It’s not your fault,”

“How did you?”

“How did I die?”

“The beast killed me. I gave myself up as bait so the people I loved could escape,” James told him, “it was the closest we got to defeating the beast before your timeline,”

“How do you know all this?”

“I might have hounded Jane Chatwin when I found out she’d made it to the Underworld.”

“Jane is here?”

“Not anymore, she moved on a few months ago, between you and me I think they expedited her paperwork,” James said.

“Why?”

“Because it does them no good to have Jane Chatwin roaming around the Underworld talking to people. It disrupted their world order,”

“That makes sense,” Quentin said.

“Okay, how about I give you a tour of the house and then we can talk about different ways to get you out of here?” James suggested and Quentin nodded.

“Sure why not.”

* * *

The group had a bit of rest while Julia tried contacting Hades, they’d agreed it was probably not the best idea to enter his territory without warning. Especially since they were entering through the Library. So that had given them a respite.

Eliot wasn’t sure if he liked it or hated it. The break meant he didn’t need to go through Quentin’s things yet, Eliot didn’t know how he was going to get through that without breaking down. The group had basically unanimously decided that he was going to be the one to carry Quentin’s soul.

 

_Because of course, they agree on **this.**_

 

But then again if they had chosen anyone else Eliot would have fought the choice. 

It was still a terrifying thought. Quentin’s fate was on his shoulders, and Eliot didn’t exactly have the best track record. They were at Kady’s apartment and Eliot just stared at Quentin’s room. Would he be able to make it inside?

Quentin’s room at the cottage had been familiar — and painful. He could imagine Quentin lounging on the bed reading Fillory or some other book. Just lying on the bed while Margo painted his nails because she wanted to see how the color looked when applied. He could practically hear Quentin’s laugh and his scent was still on some old clothes. 

Eliot had no memories of Quentin in this new room. There was nothing to fall back on. He had vague feelings from the Monster but those weren’t exactly reliable. So Eliot had no idea how he was going to feel going in. So he was okay with avoiding it as long as he could.

That was until Julia ran into the living room looking slightly haggard.

“Jules are you okay?” Kady asked.

“Hades finally got back to me,” Julia said as Alice handed her a glass of water and Julia thanked her. Alice went to sit on Eliot’s left side while Margo sat on his right.

“So?” Margo asked grabbing on to Eliot’s hand.

“Good news and bad news,” Julia said.

“What’s the bad news?” Kady asked.

“He’s not going to specifically help us, because technically we did get a lot of gods killed,” Julia remarked.

“What’s the good news?” Eliot wondered.

“He’s granting us passage to his kingdom for technically avenging OLU. He’s not going to go after us or send any specific librarians against us. If we get caught that’s on us but there’s no specific manhunt.”

“What does that mean exactly?” Alice asked.

“We still need to watch our backs in the Underworld because from his comments I’m assuming they’re not fond of us down there. So if a librarian arrests us — it’s still bad,” Julia explained, “but he said if we managed to smuggle Quentin out of the Underworld he can stay. He’s not sending anyone after him.”

“That’s good right?” Kady asked.

“As good as we’re going to get,” Julia pointed out.

“All we need now is something meaningful to hold his soul in,” Alice said looking at Eliot.

“I guess this is where I come in,” Eliot remarked as Margo helped him get up and he used his cane to start walking towards the room.

Kady and Julia looked at each other and knew they were technically surplus in this particular situation. So they would get everything else ready for the trip to the Underworld — and for the return trip as well.

Eliot had stopped right in front of the room, the door was closed and he couldn’t bring himself to open it. 

“No one has been inside since — well since you know when,” Alice explained.

“El?” Margo asked softly.

“I can do it,” Eliot whispered as he turned the doorknob and went inside. He used his power to turn on the light and just stopped at the door.

The room was messy, it had clothes thrown on the bed and on the chair. There were books on the desk and Eliot knew without looking at them that they were about possession. The bed looked like it had been barely slept on. Eliot could tell Quentin had spent a long time sitting on it, but probably did little to no sleeping. 

“El?” Alice asked.

“I’m okay it was just —,” Eliot said trailing off.

“I know,” Margo said. 

“So it needs to be something that held value for Q right?” Alice asked 

“Right,” Eliot muttered. 

“Why are we looking here rather than at the cottage?” Margo wondered.

“Because this was Quentin’s last — he probably brought everything important with him here,” Alice said.

“If he brought anything at all,” Eliot muttered.

“If we don’t find anything we’ll check his room at the cottage,” Alice said. 

 

Then they all started looking for anything that their Quentin would hold in high regard. Fillory books were discarded for the negative emotions they brought up. Margo found a model airplane that Eliot knew had belonged to Ted Coldwater. So that probably didn’t evoke the most positive of feelings. 

They had almost given up when Eliot stumbled on the solution. He had been trying to fold Quentin’s clothes — and trying to see if they smelled like Quentin. Both Alice and Margo pretended they hadn’t seen that. Then _something_  had fallen out of Quentin’s hoodie pocket.

It was a silver ring on a chain, Quentin’s wedding band to be exact. Eliot had given it to him after Quentin had proposed. Eliot was immediately pulled into the memories. 

 _It was their 8 year anniversary and Quentin had recreated their first anniversary. Teddy was at a friend’s house and so for the first time in a while they were completely alone. They were sitting on the same blanket and drinking not-so-terrible fillorian cider._  

_“You look like you want to say something Q,” Eliot said as he saw all the emotions go across Quentin’s face._

_“How long have we been at this?”_

_“You know how long we’ve been here Q,” Eliot said amused._

_“Humor me,” Quentin said and it was the expression on his face that made Eliot play along._

_“8 years,” Eliot answered._

_“We’re good right? Even after everything?” Quentin said and they both knew what everything meant. It had been a year since Arielle had passed. It had been hard — especially with Teddy so young — but they’d made it._

_“Yeah we’re good, what’s this about Quentin?” Eliot asked getting slightly worried._

_“What if we made things official?” Quentin asked softly._

_“In what way?” Eliot wondered and that’s when Quentin showed him a box and put it in front of him, “Is that what I think it is?”_

_“Open it,” Quentin said with a smile._

_“You know you’re supposed to ask a question right?” Eliot said cheekily._

_“Eliot Waugh, will you marry me?” Quentin asked as Eliot opened the box to see a beautiful ring inside, “So?”_

_Eliot is in awe of the ring and the situation. Then he sees the nerves on Quentin’s face._

_“Yes Quentin Coldwater, I will marry you,”  Eliot said as Quentin put the ring on his hand and Eliot pulled him for a kiss. He had never been happier._

_-*-_

_Eliot and Teddy had just come home from the market. Teddy quickly ran inside while Eliot pulled Quentin aside._

_“Did Teddy do something?” Quentin asked._

_“No Teddy was perfectly well-behaved,” Eliot said._

_“Okay that is slightly worrying,” Quentin said with a smile._

_“Oh shush,” Eliot said._

_“What’s up?” Quentin said looking at the nerves on Eliot’s face._

_“So I got something made for us and it was just finished today,” Eliot said._

_“It’s not a sex toy is it?”_

_“Open it Coldwater,” Eliot said handing him the box which contained two rings. The moment Quentin opened them he stared at Eliot in awe._

_“What is this?”_

_“Our wedding bands — I figured you got the engagement ring so I’d get the bands unless you don’t like them. We can definitely return them,” Eliot said nervously._

_“El, they’re gorgeous,” Quentin said as he looked at the bands, they were silver and had a line that connected what looked like mosaic tiles._

_“The line supposedly represents the string of fate while the tiles represent, you, me, Ari, Teddy, Margo, and Julia,”_

_“El —,” Quentin was speechless and all he could do was kiss Eliot. They smiled into the kiss._

_“I admit I was slightly terrified they wouldn’t be ready in time for the ceremony but the jewelry guy is pretty good.”_

_“This is the best gift El — thank you,” Quentin said._

 

Eliot sat on the bed clutching the ring in his hand. It was definitely the same ring, only a bit worn down by time. It still had the design of mini tiles and inside of it was the inscription Eliot later added. He couldn’t believe Quentin had it all this time. This meant he’d gone back to the Mosaic when they had gotten back. He had a feeling if he looked he'd find his own wedding band as well. 

And Quentin had never told him. Well, how could Eliot expect Quentin to tell him when Eliot stomped all over his heart. Suddenly Eliot couldn’t handle it and the tears came freely. He’d had it all and he’d thrown it away because of fear. 

“El?” Margo asked sitting next to him while Alice sat on his other side.

“I fucked it all up Bambi,” Eliot muttered as he cried into her chest. Alice and Margo exchanged a look as they tried to comfort their crying friend.

“We’ll make it better,” Margo said softly.

“What if I can’t? What if I screwed things up too badly this time?”

“That’s not possible. Quentin loves you more than anything. There’s nothing you could do that he wouldn’t forgive,” Alice said.

“What do you have there?” Margo asked softly as Eliot unclenched his hand and showed them the silver band on the chain.

“Is that?” Alice asked, she had a suspicion of what it was but didn’t want to assume.

“Quentin's marriage band” Eliot whispered, “I had it made specifically for him. I didn’t even know he’d gone back to Fillory to get it,”

“El,” Margo said softly, not sure what to say. What can you say in these situations?

“Well we’ve got our object,” Eliot said putting the chain around his neck and wiping his eyes.  

“Are you okay?” Alice asked.

“I will be when we get Quentin back,” Eliot said, and this time he wasn’t going to let go so easily.

“Then let’s join the rest,” Margo said with a smile.

* * *

Once James had finished giving him the tour of the house they went towards the living room. They hadn’t gone through all the rooms, according to James the house had a mind of its own. It let him know when people would be coming over to stay. 

“Say it. I know you want to,” James joked.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” Quentin said smirking.

“I’m really glad that no matter what happens or how the timeline goes there’s still one constant.”

“Which is?”

“You’re a nerd,” James said with a fond smile.

“So how did you get this place?”

“A long story.”

“I think we’ve got the time.”

“I’m going to need a drink,” James said as one appeared on the table.

“Woah,”

“The house gets you what you need, sometimes it’s a room, sometimes it’s a beer.”

“How does that work?”

“Courtesy of Alice Quinn and Julia Wicker But we’ll get to that,” James said, “Timeline 28 was a lot. It’s a bit of a painful story and it definitely does not have a happy ending.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,”  
“It was a long time ago but there are parts that feel like it was just yesterday you know?” James said.

“Yeah I know,” Quentin said thinking about the mosaic.

“The house was here but it was more of a shack. I transformed it into a beach house. I needed something to do to keep me from going insane.”

“Why?”

“I kept looking for you in the Underworld, or well the Timeline28 version of you. But I couldn’t find you and the higher-ups already hated me. I’d spent months in solitary already when Alice and Julia showed up. They wouldn’t tell me how you died but mentioned I should stop looking,”

“I have a question.”

“You have many questions,” James asked and at Q’s glare continued, “Shoot”

“In timeline 28 how did I?”

“Die?”

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t there to witness it but apparently the beast tore you apart, not even your soul made it to the Underworld. I found that out when I talked to Jane. The girls were killed shortly after, they showed up here and spent a while with me doing upgrades to the house.”

“Hence the magic,” Quentin said.

“Hence the magic,” James agreed, "After a few years they moved on.”

“You’ve been here alone?” Quentin wondered.

“Yes and no, people come and go but that’s not what you wanted to ask was it?”

“Oh, you read minds now?” Quentin said with a quirk of his brow.

“I just know you Q. You want to know what happened to Eliot 28,” James asked with a knowing look in his eye.

“I —,” Quentin trailed off and looked down.

“He’s alive as far as I know. He definitely hasn’t shown up here,” James said.

“That’s — good,” Quentin muttered.

“What happened with you two in 40?” James wondered.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Quentin said, as much as he liked James — this wasn’t _his_ James. He’d already told the story twice recently, first to Arielle and then to his dad.  

“Well he might be your key to getting out of here,” James said with a smirk.     

* * *

Everything was ready, this was it. The moment they had all been waiting for. They were going to the Underworld. Kady had left Pete watching over Emily and Mayakovsky and he’d give them the signal the moment Kady returned from the Underworld. Fogg and Zelda were in charge of watching the door to make sure there weren’t any unpleasant surprises as they got back.

The group had their armor on, ready for anything. They had no idea what to expect in the Underworld after all. As was the case these days Eliot had Alice on one side of him and Margo on the other. He had his cane on one hand and Quentin’s ring around his neck (along with his own). He'd found his own ring a little after he found Quentin's. Kady was in the front while Julia brought up the rear. 

They made it to the door without much trouble, Zelda’s instructions were tricky but accurate. After all, only the Head Librarian should have access to this door.

“Are we ready for this?” Kady asked.

“Let’s get our boy back,” Julia said as Kady turned the key and opened the door.

“We’re coming Q, hang in there,” Eliot whispered kissing Quentin's ring before walking across the door and into the Underworld.

 

The door closed behind Julia and disappeared. There was no turning back now. The only way through is forward.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me a bit! I had some computer problems and I wanted to give you guys a real conclusion rather than something I rushed.
> 
> Thanks to my lovely Kate (PanBoleyn) who deals with all my problems from the start of this fic to the end. And beta'd both parts to make sure everything was on track. I love youu.

 

 

* * *

They had made it into the Underworld Library — it looked the same as the other library honestly. 

They had no idea where to go from here, the only one that had even been to the Underworld was Julia and she came in from a different entrance so that was no help.  

“We know we need to get to the Meadows that’s probably how we find Quentin,” Julia said. 

“Do we just walk until we find an entrance?” Alice asked.

“Without running into any librarians? Yeah, that’s going to be easy,” Margo retorted.

“Do you have any better ideas?” Julia asked and Margo got quiet. No, she didn’t have any better ideas at the moment. 

“Maybe you all need to shut up and stop flashing a neon _“I’m not from around here”_ sign,” Penny said coming up behind them, “Come with me.” 

Penny took them into one of the empty rooms. Here they could talk more peacefully without anyone interrupting. 

“Penny,” Kady said softly as Penny smiled at her.

“Hey,” Penny said as she ran into his arms and hugged him. 

After a few moments, they separated and Penny turned towards the group. 

“Are you trying to get yourselves captured?”  
“We have a deal with Hades — he’s not going to persecute us,” Julia said. 

“Yeah if you stay out of his way but if you run into librarians they’re free to go after you,” Penny said, “Hades loves his fine print.” 

“So then how do we get out of the Library without librarians spotting us?” Margo asked.

“I’m glad you asked,” Penny said and then gave them the same directions he gave to Quentin. 

“That’s it?” Eliot asked holding on to the rings around his neck. 

“I’m going to give you the same warnings I gave to Coldwater, Be careful who you trust, loyal people are few and far between. You’re not going to find them in a bowling alley. The library isn’t fond of people from timelines 28, 6, or 14 because they’re hero types who keep the loyalties they had in life. Don’t eat or drink anything.” 

“Anything else?” Alice asked.

“If I were you I’d head for the park you might find someone you trust right there.” 

“How will we know if we can trust them?” Eliot asked and Penny _actually smirked_ _at him._  
“Trust me, Waugh. You’ll know,” Penny said as he guided them out of the room and through the doors. 

 

The rest of the group went ahead but Kady chose to stay behind for a moment. 

“Are you happy here?” Kady asked softly, she needed to know. 

“I’ve got a purpose and I get to help people in my own way,” Penny admitted. 

“That doesn’t really answer my question does it?” 

“I am as happy as I can be down here,” Penny said. 

“Would you ever think about —” Kady started to asked before realizing she’s not sure if she wants to know the answer. What if she’s just punishing herself now? 

“I did at first — I even got a card. I gave it to someone that deserved it a bit more,” Penny explained, “the situation isn’t perfect but right now I wouldn’t change it.” 

“So there’s no hope?” Kady asked.

“I’m sorry Kady — I never meant to hurt you.”

“No one ever does do they?” Kady commented. 

“I meant what I said — I want you to be happy. You’re capable of so many things Kady don’t hold yourself back because you think you can’t do it. You can do anything you set your mind to.”

“I’m going to miss you,” Kady said softly as she went to hug the person who had been her rock for quite some time. 

“I’m going to miss you too — I don’t want to see you down here any time soon okay?” Penny asked in that soft tone that came out whenever he talked to Kady.  
“Don’t worry I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. I’ve got a lot to work on. I don’t know if you heard but I’m technically the Hedge Queen right now,” Kady said with a smirk. 

“I heard — I’m so proud of you Kady, always knew you had it in you,” Penny said. 

“Goodbye, Penny.” 

“Goodbye Kady,” Penny said as he gave her a final hug and she left to join her friends — her family. She found Alice waiting for her outside of Penny’s door. 

“Are you okay?” Alice asked softly.

“I will be now,” Kady said and then put an arm around Alice, “Let’s join the other three before they murder each other.”

* * *

Quentin and James were sitting on the porch trying to figure out strategies and coming up with nothing. Quentin was eternally frustrated at the lack of progress and he had needed a change of pace. So he’d started asking questions about timeline 28 and James’ past. 

It turns out this James had gone to Brakebills with him and Julia. It was the thing Jane Chatwin had changed during that timeline. James wasn’t overly fond of magic but he used it on occasion. Of course, this meant that Quentin 28’s experience at Brakebills was slightly different than Quentin 40’s. He and Julia still had their issues but his friendship with James had remained steady — even after the break-up with Julia. The strangest part was that Julia had ended up dating Alice which was hilarious to Quentin. 

Apparently, that meant Julia and Alice were partners during the trials which made James, Quentin 28’s partner. It’s funny how a little change can change everything. Mayakovsky is still a perv in every timeline. Quentin doesn’t have sex with either Julia or Alice but the fox transformation still freaks him out a bit. Which resulted in avoiding Julia and Alice. 

In this timeline, Ibiza is after South rather than during so Margo and Eliot are there when he gets back. There’s also no Mike. So that must have been a later addition by the Beast. James doesn’t go into specifics but Quentin gets the gist that it’s post Brakebills South that things got complicated. 

Which leads him to his next question. 

“Where you and I ever?” Quentin asked, hoping that James got his meaning. 

“We hooked up once,” James admitted and Quentin looks surprised. In his timeline, James was the first guy he had sex with so it’s interesting to see the same things happening but in a different moment in their lives. 

“Wait did we hook up or _hook up?”_ Quentin asked curiously. 

“We drunkenly made out, it’s as far as we got. It wasn’t our finest moment,” James said with a small laugh. It had been a bit of a disaster. 

“Why?”

“You had just gotten rejected — in a way, by the guy you had feelings for and the girl I liked went to Ibiza without telling me. It’s not every day you kiss a girl and that makes her run far away.”  
“What happened?” Quentin asked. He wasn’t sure why he was so curious. Maybe he wanted to know if he and Eliot had ever gotten it right or if it was just a comedy of errors. 

“Do you really want to know?” 

“Yes, I do really want to know,” Quentin replied. 

“You and Eliot had been very close since we came back from South. You were avoiding the girls and I was — busy,” James said setting the stage, he really wasn’t looking forward to talking about the next part. 

“And then what happened?”  
“I don’t know the details just what my Quentin told me okay?” James said scratching behind his ear.  
“Okay,” Quentin said with a smile.

“You two had sex — best sex of his life according to my Q — and there were details I just blocked because I so did not want to know.” 

“It’s nice to know we torture each other with oversharing in every timeline,” Quentin said with a fond smile.

“Yeah it’s real cute,” James remarked but Quentin could tell he didn’t really mind it. 

“What happened next?” Quentin asked slightly dreading it because of how much James was trying to avoid the subject.

“By the time Quentin woke up Eliot had left for Ibiza. He was heartbroken and I was heartbroken because of a similar yet different situation; you add copious amounts of alcohol and terrible choices—.”  
“And you get us making out,” Quentin finished the thought.  
“Pretty much — it didn’t go farther than that, neither one of us was up for it,” James told him, the truth was that Quentin had been the one to stop it first. Which had led to a slight crisis because he felt he wasn’t able to move on. Honestly, James had felt like punching Eliot but when the man in question came back he looked so downtrodden that James knew he had basically already punched himself. 

“So what you’re telling me is that we can never get our shit together,” Quentin muttered.

“Hey don’t say that you were happy for a bit there,” James said trying to reassure him, and he wasn’t wrong. Once they got over the Ibiza issue they had become a happy and annoyingly in love couple. But then the Beast had happened, and the rest was history. 

“Until I was brutally murdered,” Quentin recalled and James had to concede that point. 

“Yeah until that,” James said and shrugged. 

* * *

Eliot doesn’t know how long they had been walking around aimlessly for. They just had to find the goddamn park. 

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Kady asked.

“This is my first time here so excuse me if I’m not great at directions,’ Eliot answered.

“Guys fighting is going to get us nowhere and it’s just going to attract attention. Remember we have to lay low here,” Alice reminded them.

“Fine then why doesn’t Julia lead she’s better with directions than Waugh — anyone is better,” Kady muttered and Eliot glared at her. Margo puts a hand to steady him and calm him down. It’s not going to do them any good to fight amongst themselves.  
“We have to find the park right? Then let’s find the park,’ Margo stated.  
“How? It’s not like we can ask anyone,” Eliot said. 

“By using our logic darling — we can figure this out. We’re all pretty damn smart after all,” Margo said smirking. Then she lead the way as Alice moved towards Eliot to be the one that helped him out. 

Maybe it was just Margo being Margo but the moment they stopped stressing about it they managed to find it — funny how that worked. Eliot holds on to the rings on his neck again he’s getting closer he can feel it. 

_Hold on Quentin I’m coming and then I’m never letting you go again._

They walk into the park — which looks like any random park in New York by the way — and head towards one of the benches. Mostly because Eliot needs to sit down for a moment.  

“How long are we supposed to wait?” Julia said nervously, “We’re very out in the open right now.” 

“Yes and if Penny’s right, Hades is just waiting for a chance to see us fail,” Kady pointed out. 

“They said I would know them which means I’ve met them so that’s good right?” Eliot asked.

“Honey you have an entirely different timeline than us that you remember so that could be a very long list of people,” Margo reminded him. 

“Yes sure — but he said I’d trust them. I don’t trust that many people.” 

“That is true you are notoriously distrusting,” Alice said as Eliot smiled.

“See for once my issues work in our favor instead of against us!” Eliot exclaimed.

“So we just wait until you see someone you recognize and trust?” Kady asked.

“Do you have a better idea?” Eliot remarked as Kady shrugged.

“Are they going to make themselves known?” Julia wondered looking at Eliot.

“I love how you’re all asking me as if I know any more than you do. I don’t actually know anything,” Eliot muttered.

“Yes but you’ve always faked it better than most,” said a new voice and the whole group turned around to see a guy who looked to be about their age — physically at least — Julia would even say he looked like Quentin. Which she’s aware is completely crazy. But then Eliot stands up and turns around and Julia’s never seen the expression that is currently on his face. 

The moment Eliot heard his voice he thought he was dreaming. It sounded like Teddy but it couldn’t be could it? Then he stood up and turned around and there he was. His baby boy was just staring at him with the smile that Quentin would joke he inherited from Eliot himself. Which was biologically impossible but that never stopped Quentin from saying it. 

“Teddy,” Eliot whispered in a reverent tone as he held on to his cane to try and get closer to his son. That’s the moment his son closed the distance and hugged him. Eliot could feel the tears come as he hugged his son for the first time in a very long time. 

_He never thought he’d see Teddy again._

"Hey Pops,” Teddy said hugging him back just as tightly. Then they separated and Eliot cupped Teddy’s face in his hands.

“It’s really you isn’t it?” 

“It’s me — I missed you,” Teddy muttered sounding like the little kid he used to be. 

“Oh kid I missed you so much,” Eliot said pulling him into his arms again. Happy tears fell from his eyes as they shared their moment. 

“I am very confused,” Kady muttered accidentally breaking the moment between father and son. 

“Right we’re here for a reason,” Eliot said wiping at his eyes. 

“A very important one I’d say,” Teddy joked. 

“Was Penny right? Do you trust this guy?” Julia asked softly. 

“If he didn’t then I’d be worried. It would wound me deeply in my soul,” Teddy said dramatically, “I would be traumatized for life or rather for death.”  

“You know I forgot how much of a little shit you could be,” Eliot remarked rolling his eyes.

“No you didn’t,” Teddy laughed.

“Okay no I didn’t — you get your cheek from your dad by the way,” Eliot muttered.  
“Likely story,” Teddy replied as Eliot turned to the four women who came with him. He was sure that Alice and Margo had an inkling of who Teddy was but the other two were extremely confused. In another situation he’d enjoy this immensely — okay fine —  _he was enjoying it immensely here too._

“Ladies — this is my son Theodore Rupert Coldwater-Waugh,” Eliot said introducing him, enjoying the way eyebrows hit the ceiling. 

“Your son?” Kady asked.

“He’s our age,” Julia said out loud.

“This isn’t the age I died I just chose it — it’s easier for a lot of reasons,” Teddy said. 

“Coldwater-Waugh huh?” Margo said with a smirk. 

“Something to say, Bambi?” 

“Nothing you don’t already know.” 

“Just say it,” Eliot said 

“Do you want me to give you your idiot of the year award now or wait till we get back to earth?” Margo retorted.

“Shut up,” Eliot muttered.

“Dear Diary we got married, had children and grandchildren and hyphenated our names but I’m not sure the boy I like actually likes me,” Margo teased which makes the group smirk as Eliot glares as his best friend. 

“She’s got you there Pops,” Teddy joked.

“Yeah — Yeah — Make fun but where exactly are we going?” Eliot asked, they needed to get out of the park but Eliot had no idea where to go from here.

“I’ve got a plan,” Teddy said leading them out of the park.

“That doesn’t exactly bring as much comfort as you think it does,” Eliot pointed out, after all, Teddy had taken after Quentin in that particular area. Which meant his plans ended up in disaster — most of the time. Teddy just smirked at him.  

A few minutes later Eliot was mostly proven right. They had been seen by two librarians — fuck. 

Thankfully there’s a fake sun or something in the Underworld and certain magic still works so Alice was able to hide them using her discipline. 

 _Phosphoromancy Bitches._  

“What do we do now?” Julia asked.

“Try not to get caught?” Teddy asked.

“Yeah he’s definitely yours and Coldwater’s kid,” Kady remarked.

“Is there anywhere we can hide till they stop looking?” Margo asked and Teddy gets a smile on his face.

“Actually there is,” Teddy said, “It’s not far from here — as long as Alice can keep it up we should be good.”

“I can do that,” Alice said as they set out with Teddy in the lead.

* * *

Quentin and James were still talking about everything. They had moved on from talking about timeline 28 to talking about how to get out of the Underworld. 

James has a semi-crazy idea that he thinks could work — Quentin isn’t too sure about it.

“I know it seems like a lot but it could work,” James said.

“Considering where we left things I don’t know if that’s a completely accurate assessment,” Quentin retorted.

“You mean with both of you being idiots — that’s not the first time it’s happened and it certainly won’t be the last.”

“Wow, thanks for that.”

“I know you Q — and I sort of know him.”

“You’re telling me I can use Eliot and I hooking up in 3 timelines out of 41 to get out of here. You have to admit it’s slightly insane.”

“Oh, it’s a lot more than 3. You know that. From the ones I’ve met you were in a relationship at least 3 out of 4 times and most of that fourth time it was that you had feelings you never acted on,” James told him with that _don’t bullshit me_ look.

“See that’s insane — you can’t tell me we fall in love in every timeline that’s just —” Quentin trailed off gesturing wildly while James just rolled his eyes and drank his beer.  

“I’m not saying you fall in love in every timeline, a connection doesn’t always mean romantic love.”

“What did you mean then?”

“Are you actually willing to listen this time?”  
“Yes.” 

“Like I said in my time in the Underworld I’ve met a lot of versions of you and Eliot. It doesn’t matter what form it takes, the connection is always there. Yes, most of the time it’s romantic but a few times it’s been friendship or unrequited love. You can probably channel that to get out of here.”

“How would that even happen?” Quentin asked giving up the fight. 

“To be fair? I don’t know. That’s what we have to figure out,” James told him.

“Yeah but if it doesn’t work isn’t that just going to make me feel worse about the current non-state of my relationship or lack of one?” Quentin asked, what if James was overstating their bond? What if Quentin focused on it and it was just another sign that things were not meant to go their way. Quentin couldn’t deal with more disappointments in _that_ particular area. 

“Since when are you a pessimist Q?” James asked softly.

“It’s not pessimism, it’s realism.”

“It’s fear — plain and simple.”

“Okay yes maybe I am scared. Maybe I’m fucking terrified of all of this. What if what you’re saying isn’t true? What if it’s been a one-sided disaster this entire time? What am I going to do then? Then I’ll truly have nothing.”

“But what if it’s true. What if you get to go back to the world of the living. What if you get to live a full life with the person that you love? A lot of us would love that chance, Quentin. I know it’s hard and I don’t know your entire story with your Eliot but I know you both of you. People don’t change that much between timelines.”

“There’s a timeline where I am the Beast.”

“You didn’t have a shade that doesn’t count,” James said rolling his eyes, “For the most part people are the same at their core. You and Eliot are always drawn to each other. Margo used to say that it was some fated lovers bullshit. Sure most of the time it ended badly — sometimes really badly,” James said, thinking of how it had ended in his own timeline.  

Then he said the kicker, the one that punched Quentin in the gut. He might have been dead but he still technically felt that.

“Quentin, who else gets another chance at a life with their soulmate?” 

“You think we’re soulmates?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think Q, what do you think?” James said and Quentin was quiet.

Eliot was the first thing he thought of in the morning. He was also the last thing that Quentin thought of at night. It didn’t matter if they were together or if they were apart, Eliot was never far from his thoughts. He’d tried to stop thinking about him — he’d even slept with Poppy to try and avoid the thoughts. Which were definitely made worse by the depression key. For some reason, those thoughts were the loudest. _He only spent 50 years with you because he had to. You were the easy and comfortable choice after all._ The terrible conversation they’d had after they’d come back had brought back emotions that Quentin hated thinking about. _You really thought he’d choose you when he’s got an entire world to choose from? Why would he go for nerdy anxious Quentin Coldwater?_  

He’d tried to ignore it but the thoughts stayed in his head. He knew Eliot loved him, it just wasn’t the same way Quentin loved him. But there was still that stupid hopeful voice that said _What if he’s as scared as you are?_ It didn’t make the things Eliot said okay but maybe it wasn’t as hopeless as it appeared. He’d gotten used to just being Eliot’s friend and then the moment in the park had happened. 

_50 Years who gets proof of concept like that? Peaches and Plums Motherfucker I’m alive in here._

Now Quentin had no fucking clue what to think. His heart said one thing, his head said another. Both his dad and Ari seemed to have opinions that they’d made perfectly clear. Now even _James_ had an opinion. But James, as usual, was also right about something. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought or felt. What did Quentin feel? His heart knows the answer, _his heart has always known the answer_. 

 

From the very first moment when the man in question had jumped off the Brakebills sign and looked at Quentin, he’d known. 

“Eliot is my soulmate,” Quentin said softly. 

“Then it’s going to work,” James said.  

* * *

Teddy reached his mother’s home in record time. Alice took down the spell as they all went inside the small house. Eliot and Margo were the last to get inside as he turned and saw someone he didn’t expect to see. 

But of course, if Teddy was going to take them anywhere it makes sense it would be here.

“It would seem my boys are destined to keep walking into my Home unannounced,”

“Sorry ma,” Teddy said with a slight smile.

Eliot was frozen at the sight of Arielle, he knew there was a chance he’d see her in the Underworld but it happening is another thing.

“Ari” Eliot whispered reverently. 

“Hey El, long time no see,” Ari answered and crossed the distance to hug him. Eliot hugged her back just as tightly. They stayed like that for a minute until there was a knock outside the door.

“Librarians” Teddy muttered.

“Leave it to me, El hide with your group in the next room I’ll go get you when it’s free to come out...” Ari said and Eliot quirked his brow “You know what I mean.” 

“Ladies let's go quickly,” Eliot muttered as Alice and Margo helped him go up the stairs and into Arielle’s bedroom. Kady and Julia sat on the bed while Eliot sat at a desk by the door. Alice sat next to Eliot while Margo sat next to the door.

The knocks on the door got harder.

“Hold your horses I’m coming,” Arielle said as she opened the door to see two librarians, one was a tall brunette and the other was a ginger, “Can I help you?”

“Why did it take you so long to open?” Tall Librarian asked.

“I was in the bathroom or is that not allowed?” Ari remarked. 

“We need to inspect your home,” the Ginger librarian said.

“Like hell, you will,” Ari said putting a hand across the threshold so they can’t come in, “I’ve watched enough criminal dramas to know you need a warrant to search the premises. For a warrant, you need probable cause or something.” 

“There’s been talk of humans around these parts,” Ginger said. 

“Humans in the underworld? Say it isn’t so!” Ari exclaimed and Teddy had to stiffen a laugh. 

“Undead ones” Ginger added. 

“You mean zombies? That would definitely make this place more interesting.”

“No he doesn’t mean Zombies, he means people who snuck into the underworld, so if you don’t let us in I’m going to think you’re in cahoots,” Tall Librarian retorted. 

“The only people that live here are my son and I, you made it that way, remember? But if you want to come for a coffee I’d be delighted to oblige,” Ari said opening the door for the two to come in.  

Teddy was worried, no one could talk her way out of trouble the way his mother could — except maybe his Pops — but there was still a lot riding on things here.

“So do you want sugar or do you take it bitter like your soul?” Ari said with a saccharine smile. 

“Ma,”

“I take it you’re not a fan of us?” Ginger asked.

“Why would I be when you’ve treated us like criminals since the start. I don’t like it when people hurt my child, gentlemen, especially over something he had no control over. He didn’t choose his fathers.” 

“But you did,” Tall librarian asked and Eliot’s sucked in a deep breath.

“I guess I did,” Ari said softly, “But even so, how was I supposed to know it would be such a hassle? They were just two good looking guys who worked at the mosaic.”

“You didn’t find anything peculiar about them?” Ginger asked.

“Like I said they were two good looking guys in a village that had the same 10 douchebags I’d known since infancy, of course, they stood out.”

“And yet you still chose to entangle yourself with them?” He said taking a sip of his coffee.

Ari leaned against the counter and smirked, “I know you two have probably never had an orgasm in your lifetime, but I am a woman with needs. And they were _damn good_ at fulfilling them.”

Margo just smirked and looked at Eliot who just shrugged. He and Ari didn’t really have sex but their dynamic had worked for them.

“Mom!” Teddy exclaimed mortified, why did all his parents have to keep reminding him of their sex life?

“I think we’ve taken enough of your time. We will see ourselves out,” Tall Librarian said while grabbing Ginger Librarian and walking out. 

Arielle waited for a minute until she called out, “Danger has passed.”

“You haven’t changed one bit, have you?” Eliot said with a smile.

“Why mess with perfection?” Ari responded.

“I kind of really want to know who just saved our asses,” Kady said.

“You must be Kady,” Ari said with a smile and then turned to the rest, “Which makes you Alice, Julia.... and Margo.” 

“And you’re Arielle.”

“I am,” Ari said with a smile, “You have no idea how delightful it is to meet you all. I’ve heard so many stories.”

“Arielle is my 2nd wife. Quentin and I met her during our mosaic years, we were a family. All of us.”

“We were.”

“Question, if you’re from Fillory of the past, how do you know about zombies?” Julia wondered.

“There’s not much to do down here and I’ve been stuck for a long time. So I’ve read a lot of books and watched a lot of movies and television shows.”

“How does that work exactly?” Alice asked, extremely curious.

“It’s simple really, in the case of books if the author is dead then we get their works. In the case of television shows it’s mostly canceled or ended tv shows.” 

“Because they’re technically dead,” Teddy pointed out. 

“Interesting,” Margo said.

“I’m guessing you know why we’re here,” Eliot said. 

“I do, you just missed him you know? He was here a few days ago, sort of. Time is wonky here,” Ari said.

“Do you know where he went?” Eliot asked with a slight spark of hope. 

“I have an idea, but first there’s something I have to do,” Ari said and Eliot looked at her in confusion.

Then she slapped him on the back of the head.

“What was that for!” Eliot exclaimed. 

“You know what it was for!” Ari answered. 

“He told you?” Eliot asked softly rubbing his head as he sat down on the table and Ari sat down next to him. Teddy was leaning against the counter while Margo came to sit on Eliot’s other side. Alice sat next to Margo. Kady and Julia stayed standing. 

“You know sometimes I think you’re as stupid as you pretend to be,” Ari muttered.

“I was scared.”

“You were an asshole.”

“It’s my go-to defense mechanism,” Eliot muttered.

“I’m well aware of it.” 

“I thought there was no way he’d choose me, not when there were so many other choices out there,” Eliot said softly.

“I always said the only people who couldn’t see how much you two loved each other were the two of you,” Ari said softly grabbing his hand.

“That’s what Margo and Alice say,” Eliot answered and Ari looked at the girls and smiled.

“They’re wise, you should listen to them.”

“I’m trying to. I’m here to fix things.”

“You’re scared you’re going to fail.” 

“That obvious?” Eliot muttered.

“I just know you well darling,” Ari said, “You’re not going to fail.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because nothing has mattered as much as this. You just need to remember to follow your heart instead of your head,” Ari said softly. 

“I know,” Eliot whispered and got up to hug her.

“I’ll tell you what I told Q, I don’t want to see you back here for a long time, okay?” Ari said as she hugged Eliot goodbye.

“If all goes according to plan you won’t,” Eliot said with a smirk.

“Good,” Ari said then turned to her son, “you know where to go right?”

“I do,” Teddy said with a nod.

“Stay safe,” Ari said.

“Always,” Teddy responded.

“It was a pleasure to meet you all, sorry we couldn’t talk more,” Ari said and then Margo went and hugged her, surprising them all.

“Thank you for taking care of my boys,” Margo whispered.

“It was my pleasure, promise me you’ll watch out for them?” Ari said softly.

“Always,” Margo agreed.

“What about the librarians who were on our tail?” Kady asked and that’s when Ari gave them a wicked smile. One that Eliot knew quite well.

“Let’s just say you don’t have to worry about them.” 

“Why?” Julia asked.

“They’re not going to be leaving the bathroom any time soon,” Ari said with a mischievous smile.

“You truly haven’t changed one bit,” Eliot said with a laugh. 

“You know I’ll always protect my people,” Ari said, “Now go before it’s too hard to say goodbye.”

“You’re wonderful,” Eliot said giving her a kiss on the top of the head.

“I know,” Ari said with a teary smile, “Go get your man back.” 

“Thank you, for everything,” Eliot said as he walked out of the house with his son and his friends. Feeling lighter than he had in a while.

* * *

Quentin was back in his room or what is his room for the duration of his stay here. He had to admit the magic was good — it looked a lot like what his room back in Brakebills looked like. But he shouldn’t be surprised after all Julia and Alice did the magic. Even if it’s not his Julia or his Alice they’re probably still spectacular.  

He hopes they’re enjoying their eternity wherever the people with a metrocard go to. Quentin just laid on his bed looking at the ceiling — which was better than the alternative. His alternative was thinking about the realization he’d had. The realization that he very much didn’t want to think about. 

He had no idea how to feel about it. A part of himself felt relieved at finally admitting it, the other part felt apprehensive at what it could mean. Then there was the angrier side of him. The side that said that if Eliot really did love him why did he do the things he did?  

He knows Eliot has his issues — _they were his constant companion for 50 year_ s — but Quentin had always thought they could move past them. Especially after Fillory. 

 

They had been married. 

As in _husband and husband_ married. 

 _Till Death Do You Part_ married. 

 

Which sadly or ironically enough was what ended up happening. Eliot died and Quentin remembered how that felt. He knew he never wanted to feel that again. It’s the reason he’d poured his heart out back in that dreaded throne room. He knew Eliot was it for him and he didn’t want to waste a single second. But of course,  _Eliot apparently didn’t agree._

Quentin’s fear of losing Eliot was part of his drive for the things he did with the Monster. He couldn’t go through that — not again. 

He might have gone a bit too far and in his quest to keep Eliot from dying he lost track of his own problems and now _he’s_ in the Underworld. 

 

_To say he overshot that mark would be an understatement._

 

The one positive upside to all of this is realizing how much he doesn’t actually want to be dead. He’d always thought about it — thought it would be easier than leaving. That he could finally rest but pretty much nothing has changed. Except for the fact that he caused the people he loved pain — which was the last thing he wanted. 

It’s not a relief to die.  

It’s a weird and oddly comforting thought? All he wants right now is to live. Well, more than anything right now he wants to see Eliot. He never got to see him. All that time fighting to get him back and he never actually saw him. It’s too ridiculous for words. 

 

_You’ve really outdone yourself there Coldwater._

 

He doesn’t know why he heard that in Margo’s voice but he did. ~~(It’s a lie he knows why).~~

(It’s just less painful to think of a Margo that gave a shit about him than whatever his last interaction with her was.) 

He wants to scream at his friends for being so blind that they missed the obvious signs (almost as much as he wants to scream at himself for never asking for help.)

He wants to see Eliot and scream at him and actually have an actual conversation about their feelings. Which would be like pulling teeth, considering how much Eliot loathes talking about feelings. But Eliot is also the one that got him his wedding ring. His wedding ring was his single most prized possession.  

After they had come back to their timeline — and Quentin had gotten his heart ripped in half — he had needed to see that it had happened. To know that it wasn’t just all in his head. Sure enough, the cabin was there. Quentin and Eliot’s rings were still there in the box next to the bed. 

He’d grabbed both of them and headed back to Whitespire before no one was the wiser.  

His ring had been his companion during this last year. It had been both a blessing and a curse. It was a reminder of a time when he and Eliot were together and a reminder of what he was fighting for. But looking at it also made him remember the way Eliot had turned him down when he’d asked to try again. 

As much as he claims otherwise he’s got no clue how he’d react to Eliot right now. Would he hug him? Would he scream at him? Would he be happy to see him (That’s a no-brainer — no matter how angry Quentin could be he is _always happy to see Eliot)._

He really just wants to see Eliot again. 

Even if it just to scream at him a little bit — it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it. 

He can hear a knock on the door and gets off the bed and heads to open the door. James just smirks at him like he knows something that Q doesn’t — which is fair considering he does know a lot that Quentin doesn’t but he doesn’t have to _keep rubbing it in_. 

* * *

Eliot was nervous because of course, he was. They were almost there — or well that’s what he assumed from the way Teddy seemed to get more and more nervous. He knew his son really well and he knew his mannerisms. 

Then Teddy had smiled at him and said, “We’re here.” 

So now he was standing in front of a damn beach house trying to get the courage to knock on the fucking door. Fuckin Hell Waugh just do it. 

And so he knocked.

The door opened to reveal Quentin on the other side — and he looked so damn good. It was totally unfair.

  
“Q,” Eliot said as Quentin stared at him and closed the door on his face. 

“That did not go as I expected,” Eliot mentioned to the group behind him and he could swear he could see his son actually facepalming. 

 Like this was his fault — Quentin was the one that closed the door on his face.

“So what do we do now?” Margo asked as the door opened once again to reveal a really good looking man that Eliot was definitely not jealous about.  
“Sorry about that, come on in.” 

“James?” Julia said from her place in the back, she came closer to the front and just stood in front of her ex-boyfriend, “Are you my?” 

Julia trailed off, she didn't want to know if her James had died. A part of her would always love him. She deeply regretted how things had ended. More than anything she’d lost a good friend — and so had Quentin, because of her actions.

“I’m not _your_ James, I’m from another timeline but it’s always really good to see you, Jules,” James told her with that smile of his that always made her feel better no matter what. 

Julia ran forward and just hugged him, it felt really good to hug James. Maybe part of why her life had derailed so spectacularly was that she lost sight of the only people who ever truly gave a shit about her. 

  
“I missed you,” Julia whispered.  
“I missed you too Jules,” James said hugging her back and then turning to the rest of the group, “Why don’t you come on in.” 

Alice helped Eliot go inside the house and she couldn’t help but marvel at how gorgeous it was.  
“This is impressive,” Alice said.  
“Thank you — you helped with it, well the you from my timeline,” James explained.  
“Where is Coldwater?” Margo asked as James turned to look at her with an expression she didn’t recognize. 

“He’s up the stairs to the left, probably hiding in the room,” James told her.  
“I’ll get him sorted out then,” Margo said.  
“Oh I know you will,” James said and for a moment Margo felt as if he knew her but that was insane right? It was totally insane.

Margo looked at Alice who nodded, she’d take one boy and Margo would take the other. After all, they didn’t come this far to just wimp out at the last moment because their dumb boys couldn’t get over their issues.  

She made her way up the stairs and knocked on the door. She wants to say that she waited for an answer and then went inside but everyone would know that’s a flat out lie. 

She just forced her way inside to find Quentin standing in the balcony. He looked at her and smiled.  
“I had a feeling they would send you,” Quentin said.  
“Please no one sends me anywhere I sent myself,” Margo said.

“That is true,” Quentin said with a sad smile and Margo sighed as she sat on the bed.  
“Come here Q,” She said patting the spot in the bed next to her. He did as he was told, he knows better than to say no to Margo after all. 

“So how is life?” Quentin said sarcastically.  
“It’s shitty because something really bad happened,” Margo said.  
“What’s that?” 

“My best friend killed himself,” Margo said as Quentin couldn’t look at her in the eye. 

“Maybe your best friend as you say didn’t think you’d care,” Quentin retorted. 

“Why wouldn’t I care?” Margo asked.

“Maybe because you hadn’t for months — it took me killing myself for all of you to remember I existed how fucked up is that?” Quentin asked. 

“Shit Q,” Margo said as the words hit home. Eliot had already screamed them at her but for some reason, this made them all the more real.  
“We were all shitty friends, and you probably expected that from Wicker or even 23.”  
“23 hates me,” Quentin reminded her.  
“Yeah he’s a piece of shit,” Margo agreed, “Like I was saying I don’t blame you for what you did. After everything, you went through? I get it. I’m just —I’m sorry Q.”  
“What?” Quentin asked surprised.  
“I’m sorry I should have looked out for you. I knew how hard it was for me to look at Eliot and see _that thing_ I never thought how it would be for you. Actually, that’s a lie I never wanted to think about it. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to avoid it. So I was selfish. I was so fucking selfish. I momentarily forgot that you’re as important to me as Eliot. I thought we’d get him back and everything would go back to normal, you know?”  
“Yeah, I know how that is.”  
“But it didn’t because when you walked into the seam you never walked out,” Margo said as tears started to fill her eyes.  
“Margo,” Quentin said softly.

“Let me say it. You never walked out and Alice had to tell me about it. It broke me Q,” Margo admitted, “Not only because I knew I was going to have to break it to El but because of how guilty I felt.”  
“I thought that everything would go back to normal, but it could never be normal without you. I’d saved Eliot but I’d lost you in the process and that was never the deal Quentin, that was never the deal,” Margo’s voice broke and Quentin held her in his arms as she cried. 

She cried more than she had cried in a long time. She didn’t cry this much when she’d found out — because she’d needed to be strong for Eliot. Afterwards, she’d needed to take care of Eliot and then came the plot to get Quentin back so there was no reason to cry. 

 

But here in a beach house in the Underworld, in Quentin’s arms, Margo Hanson finally cried.   

* * *

Alice had attempted to talk some sense into Eliot but she wasn’t sure how well it had gone. Their plan was still in motion it was just slightly delayed. 

“Should someone go check on them?” Julia asked.

“That’s probably the worst thing you could do right now,” Kady pointed out.

“She’s right, they need their space,” James said coming out into the deck. 

“How would _you_ know?” Eliot remarked from his place sitting at the table with Alice and Teddy. 

“Pops,” Teddy whispered trying to get him to stand down but he knew it was to no use. 

“Do you have a problem, Waugh?” James retorted. 

“Wicker trusts you and that means we should all trust you? Typical,” Eliot muttered. 

“Look I get that you’re stressed and in your place, I would be too but that doesn’t mean you have to be a little bitch,” James responded.

“James,” Teddy muttered exasperatedly. 

“Why don’t we just all calm down,” Alice suggested and turned to Teddy, “So you live here?”

“3⁄4 of the time yes I live here,” Teddy explained, “I like helping James out with things — makes me feel useful.”

“It’s still so weird that you two had a kid,” Kady pointed out. 

“We had grandchildren too,” Eliot reminisced and looked at Teddy, “have they moved on?”

  
“Most of the family that comes through the pearly gates has moved on to a better place. It just didn’t feel like the right decision for me,” Teddy told them. 

“Well I’m really happy I got to see you again, I missed you kid,” Eliot admitted once more, and oh how he had missed him. Going back to his timeline and realizing there was no Teddy was one of the hardest parts of it all. In his pain, Eliot pushed Quentin away when they should have been mourning together. 

“I missed you too Pops and I missed Dad — even if I momentarily forgot how extremely dramatic both of you can be,” Teddy remarked as the girls laughed. 

“We’re not that dramatic,” Eliot complained.

“Yes you are,” Alice commented. 

“One time you stopped speaking for a day because he didn’t like the pie you made and you retorted by telling him his tile design was terrible,” Teddy reminded him.

“He locked me out of the cabin that night,” Eliot said with a smile, “We had make-up sex the next day.” 

“I was a teenager and you scarred me for life,” Teddy said. 

“You were supposed to be staying at a friends house! We had no idea you’d be home early,” Eliot shrugged.  
“You were having sex in the mosaic! You couldn’t have been having sex inside in your bedroom like normal people?” Teddy asked.

“I was trying to make your dad happy so —” Eliot trailed off, it's not his fault that Quentin had a bit of an exhibitionist kink — and Teddy _had_ come home early. 

"I can't believe I'm dead and still being fucking traumatized by your sex lives," Teddy muttered, “The point stands that you two are overly-dramatic.” 

“He’s the one that closed the door on my face,” Eliot said.

“You’re telling me you didn’t deserve that in some way?” Teddy asked knowing both his fathers really well. 

“I — might have deserved it,” Eliot admitted. 

“I rest my case,” Teddy said, “Changing gears so I guess Penny’s plan worked?” 

“Wait _Penny’s_ plan?” Kady asked.

“Penny had a bit of time in between the time when he read that Quentin was dying and greeting him in the elevator. He said he was going to try and convince Quentin that he didn’t actually want to die — then he got Ted to go find Quentin,” James explained to the questers shocked faces, “Penny knew one of you at least was going to try and come down here so he roped in Teddy to help.”  
“We didn’t expect the full group to come we thought it just be Pops and someone else,” Teddy interjected.  
“Yes well, the plan was for both Teds to take the group here. That way you’re not wandering the Underworld in vain,” James said.  
“That sounds like Penny,” Kady said with a sad smile. 

“We have a deal he sends me the people he thinks need our help the most,” James said. 

“And since you’re far enough away the library isn’t completely aware are they?” Julia asked. 

“They mostly leave us to our own devices if we don’t cause too much trouble,” James said. 

“I’m pretty sure sneaking a soul out of the Underworld probably counts as too much trouble,” Kady said.

“Breaking the rules is thrilling at times,” James retorted which made Kady laugh.   

* * *

Margo has finally stopped crying after a few (about 15) minutes of nonstop crying. She smiles at Quentin as she untangled herself from his arms.

“Are you feeling better?” Quentin asked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that — ever,” Margo pointed out, “So you better feel proud of yourself right now.”

“I’ll never feel good for making you cry but I do feel slightly proud,” Quentin laughed.

“You’re such an asshole at times, you know that right?” 

“Takes one to know one,” Quentin reminded her.

“That’s true,” Margo has to give him that, “I meant what I said Q — I’m really sorry I was such a terrible friend. You deserved so much better.”

“I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt but I get it — I get why you ran and why you buried yourself in Fillory. If I could have I’d have done the same,” Quentin admitted.

“Do you forgive me?” Margo asked.

“Of course I do — you’re still my best friend Hanson,” Quentin said as he hugged her again. 

This time without any tears from either of them. 

“So switching gears a bit — you know he did a lot to come here you know?” Margo commented.

“Who?”

“Don’t be stupid with me Q.” 

“I love him okay? I truly deeply do,” Quentin admitted.

“Then why the dramatics?” Margo asked, “The door slamming made me laugh but the guy has suffered enough don’t you think?” 

“I mean yes but so did I,” Quentin said, “What’s the harm in making him sweat a little?” 

“You’re such a petty bitch sometimes you know that?” Margo said with a laugh.

“I repeat, takes one to know one,” Quentin remarked.

“Damn right and don’t you forget it!” Margo exclaimed, “Okay, I think he’s suffered enough what do you say we put him out of his misery? If you leave this room you can scream at him all you like.”

“He does deserve it though,” Quentin said, thinking about how mad he’d been at Eliot for all the bullshit the man pulled after they came back from the past.

“Oh, he totally deserves it,” Margo agreed, “So let’s go give him hell.”

“Let’s go,” Quentin said with a laugh as they made their way out of the room. 

“You know Q, this house reminds me of my parents' old beach house, that’s weird right?” Margo commented while looking around.  
“Yeah super weird,” Quentin said as the dots started connecting in his head. Oh _Oh._  

Margo was the woman James was in love with, well Margo from 28 that was. That was a development Quentin did not see coming in the slightest. 

* * *

The group was sitting around the dock just making idle conversation when Quentin and Margo come outside. Teddy is the first one to come forward as Quentin hugs his son once again. 

“Hi, Dad.” 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Quentin whispered into his neck.

“Couldn’t let you leave without saying hello,” Teddy said and then smiled. “Plus I needed to pick someone up so they didn’t get lost.”

Quentin turns and sees Eliot standing there with his cane. Eliot gives him a sheepish wave.

“Eliot,” Quentin said.

“Hi Q,” Eliot responded getting closer as Teddy joined the rest of the group who of course didn’t leave. They were all aware they should probably give them privacy but were too curious to go inside.  

“So what are you doing here?” Quentin asked crossing his arms over his chest. 

“We came to rescue you,” Eliot answered.

“Maybe I was already rescuing myself,” Quentin muttered.

“Well a little help never hurts,” Eliot said. 

“Says the man that never accepts _anyone’s_ help.”

“Pot meet Kettle,” Eliot remarked.

“I’m definitely better at it than you are.” 

“No you’re not — we’re literally in the Underworld because you won’t ask for help,” Eliot reminded him and Quentin had really no answer to that. Because he wasn’t entirely wrong but he wasn’t going to admit that. 

“Maybe I — wanted to be the one that saved you,” Eliot said softly.

“The only one that saves me is me,” Quentin said but there wasn’t much fight, “And anyway, why do you care? Last I checked we were nothing — No we were less than nothing.” 

“That’s not fair,” Eliot interjected.

“You know what’s not fair? Pouring my heart and soul out to someone and getting turned down. Life is not fucking fair, it’s never been fair.” 

“I messed up! I was scared!” Eliot exclaimed. 

“So was I!” Quentin said, “But I wanted to try and you wouldn’t even think of it!” 

“We’ve established I’m a coward,” Eliot reminded him.

“Then you made sure I was certainly not going to ask again.”  
“I’ve been told I’m really good at pushing away people.” 

“He is,” Margo said in the background and Alice nodded. Quentin and Eliot just stared at them for a second before going back to their argument.   

“You called me straight,” Quentin said getting angrier as he remembered.

“Not my finest moment but how was I supposed to know you weren’t!” Eliot exclaimed.

“I’ve had sex with you countless times,” Quentin exclaimed throwing his hands in the air. 

“You know what I’m going to go inside and pretend I didn’t hear that,” Teddy muttered leaving the dock and going inside. Seriously that’s 3 for 3 with his parents mentioning their sex lives. 

“That’s actually not a guarantee you know how many straight guys I’ve slept with?” Eliot argued and yet he knew it was the wrong thing to say the moment he said it. 

“El really?” Margo muttered wanting to wring her best friend’s neck. 

“I can’t believe I’m actually dead and we’re still having this argument!” Quentin exclaimed, “I’m bisexual Eliot! Sleeping with women doesn’t make my sexuality any less valid.” 

“I know that,” Eliot said shamefully.

“Do you? Because it certainly doesn’t look that way.”

“I might have a few issues to work out,” Eliot admitted.

“You think?” Quentin said

“No.. I know,” Eliot said, “I should not have dismissed your sexuality, that was wrong of me and I apologize.” 

“Thank you,”  Quentin said, “I still have no clue why you’re here.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Margo rolling her eyes. Quentin knew he was being obtuse but there’s a part of him that needed to hear what Eliot would say. There’s a part that still doesn’t believe Eliot actually wants him no matter what anyone says. Quentin knew that Eliot was his soulmate but did Eliot feel the same way?

“You died, you really think I was just going to be like well okay Q’s dead let’s move on to the next crisis?” Eliot said sardonically and Quentin shrugged, “I can’t live in a world without you.”

“You’d get over it.”

“No, I really wouldn’t.” Eliot said, “You risked it all to bring me back why can’t I do the same.”

“I didn’t save you for some kind of quid-pro-quo El.” 

“That’s not what this is,” Eliot said running a hand through his hair. Why was this so fucking difficult, “Didn’t you hear what I said when I broke through?” 

“All you did was repeat my words back to me, it was a way to show me it was you.” 

“No — I mean yes… But I meant them! I want that proof of concept!” Eliot exclaimed. 

“Oh, bullshit.” 

“Now who’s being dismissive!”

“I’m sorry if it’s a little hard for me to trust anything you say after you broke my heart. You shattered my heart Eliot and then you stomped on it for good measure,” Quentin cried out. 

“I fucked up,” Eliot said softly. 

“You said you wouldn’t choose me and now you’re here claiming otherwise, what am I supposed to think?”

“I never said I’d never choose you!” Eliot exclaimed.

“That’s not me and that’s definitely not you. Not when we have a choice,” Quentin quoted, producing the words from memory. 

“Oh....” Eliot muttered, he honestly had not meant them in that way, “I definitely didn’t mean that. What I meant was that _you_ wouldn’t choose _me_.”

“That’s the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard Eliot and you know it!”

“Do I? Julia, Alice, Ari, even that Emily and Poppy,”

“Nothing ever happened with Julia, Alice and I ended badly, Emily was a rebound one night stand, you pushed me towards Ari and why is Poppy even relevant?”

“You guys hooked up.”

“I’m not exactly known for making great choices about who I have sex with when I’m depressed,”

“That’s true,” Julia stated.

“And since you brought it up. You do remember what came right before Poppy right?” Quentin said staring at him, “You had just _dumped_ me after 50 years together. Then you hit me with another gem, go be life partners with someone else ring a bell?”

“That sounds so much worse in context,” Eliot muttered, “in my defense, I didn’t mean it in that way. I needed to stay and help Margo with the fairies.”

“Don’t bring me into it El.”

“Let’s backtrack to this idea about me not choosing you shall we. I’ve basically chosen you a million times over.”

Eliot just crossed his arms.

“I was the one that kissed you first in Fillory, to which the next day you said we should leave our overthinking for the puzzle. Then you pushed me towards Ari.”

“You liked her!” Eliot exclaimed, “I didn’t want to miss out on a girl you liked because you were stuck with me. It wasn’t like it took long for you two to get together.”

“I didn’t mind being stuck with you!” Quentin said, “And again you _rejected_ me! Was I supposed to just wait around for you to get your act together?”

“I,” Eliot said not knowing how to answer that. 

“Let’s go back further, I was the one that kissed you during the threesome.”

“It’s true I was there,” Margo said as they all turned to her, “I’m just saying!”

“You still acted like a dick afterward.” 

“Yeah because I had cheated on Alice not because I had sex with you. I know you sometimes like to believe that you were the first guy I slept with, but you weren’t even the third,” Quentin said and then looked to Julia for backup.

“That’s true, there was Andrew from Model UN, Patrick from college, James,” Julia said off the top of her head, looking at the man in question. 

“Wait, your James?” Kady interjected and they all turned to look at James who just smirked and shrugged. 

“I met James first, he was in one of my classes but that is so not the point here,” Quentin remarked.

“Plus Q had a crush on you in the first year,” Alice said and Eliot turned to her like _Et Tu?_

“Just because we had sex doesn’t me he had a crush on me,” Eliot said and turned to Margo, “Bambi?” 

“El sweetie, he wasn’t even subtle about it,” Margo said with a smile.

“Hey!” Quentin interjected.

“Penny complained about it all the time,” Kady reminisced. Quentin’s mental wards were shit so Penny was constantly bombarded with all of Q’s thoughts. Including some sex dreams with Eliot, Alice or both. 

“El, think back to first year. I spent more time with you than anyone. I sought comfort from you after fights with Julia, when I almost got expelled, after I found out about my dad, hell when we first met I called you a hallucination — to your face.”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Eliot did with a fond smile, it was one of his favorite memories. 

“I was the one that wanted to get back together and you rejected me harshly.”

“We’ve established I’m a fucking coward Quentin! I was so scared and when I’m scared I run away. I said things that I knew would push you away because I didn’t think I was worthy of someone as good and true as you.”

“You’ve said a lot of crazy things right now but that is the craziest.”

“I’m a walking disaster Q, I have more issues than playboy. I don’t know how to handle emotions and I break everything I touch. I’m the reason you’re stuck here.” 

“I take it back, **_that_ ** is the craziest shit you’ve said.”

“If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have come up with the idiotic plan of staying with the monster. Then I went ahead and shot it which lead to me being possessed which was a house of cards that brought us here.”

“You’re taking a bit too much credit there. Yeah, you made some stupid choices, but so did I, so did Alice, Julia, and Margo. There were a series of actions and consequences that lead to me — to doing what I did. My mental state was shattered, my dad was dead and you were possessed. I lost my footing. I was completely alone and I was so tired El, I was so fucking tired. So I listened to the voice inside my head.”  Quentin said looking at his hands, “You fucked up El but my choices this last year? They’re on me.”

“I’m still sorry about everything. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you by being selfish and scared.” Eliot said grabbing Quentin’s hand and giving it a kiss, “It’s my most traumatic memory.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“The moment in the throne room, it’s my most repressed and traumatic memory. The thing I hate the most about myself,” Eliot admitted, not caring that they were still technically surrounded by their friends and James. 

“Seriously?”

“Don’t believe me?”

“Not sure what to believe anymore,” Quentin said truthfully and Eliot knew this was it. This was his moment to be brave, it was now or never.

“When I was trapped by the monster, I literally had to go through all my painful memories in order to find a door. The door would allow me to take control of my body to tell you guys I was alive. I had run out of options, when I remembered the throne room— or rather memory you reminded me of something that made me think of the throne room,” Eliot said, “I saw that memory and I promised that if I got out, I was going to be brave.” 

“El,” Quentin said as his force of will started to break. 

“When Margo said you died I felt a hole in me open, one that was never going to be filled. I thought I had lost my chance at true love and it was my own fault. I was numb for two weeks in the Cottage. If I tried hard enough I could pretend that I was still in my head and you were still out there waiting for me,” Eliot said in a shaky quiet voice. 

He took a minute to close his eyes and compose himself and then looked at Alice, “Alice got me out of the funk I was in. She actually helped me process my emotions. There was a lot of screaming and crying involved. Then we decided we weren’t going to take this lying down. That we were going to steal you from the Underworld if we had to.”

“You were high weren’t you?” Quentin asked knowingly.

“We were, but the sentiment remained and we knew we had to do something. So we brought the group together because every single person here loves you Q. You’d be surprised at how many people you’ve touched Coldwater. You’re important to so many people and you’ve touched so many lives. Your story is not even close to over. And I—” Eliot said and then turned towards Alice who nodded as he used his cane to help him kneel in front of Quentin. 

“When I gave you this ring the first time around I made you a promise,” Eliot said taking the ring from under his shirt and showing it to him, “I want to reiterate that promise. You are the love of my life Quentin Coldwater. You’re my soulmate. I will spend the rest of my life and any other life we have, trying to prove it to you. Because I love you. I’m not saying it will be easy, at times it will be fucking hard. You’ll hide with Julia and I’ll hide with Margo. I can’t promise we’ll never hurt each other again. I’m still emotionally constipated and you’re still stubborn as fuck. But I can promise the make-up sex will always be great.”

Quentin let out a small laugh as the girls rolled their eyes at Eliot. 

“Even if you decide you don’t want anything with me romantically anymore I’d understand it. I’d be the best friend you ever had — no offense, Julia.”

“None taken.”

“Just please say you’ll come back with us. We all need you, especially Margo, who will always claim otherwise. You’re the glue that keeps us together Q, and more than that you’re my heart. I can’t imagine going on without you.”

“You’re really a bastard, you know?” Quentin said with a weepy laugh as he came down to Eliot’s level.

“It’s one of my best and worst qualities,” Eliot said before he leaned forward and kissed Quentin. It had been so long he’d practically forgotten what it was like to kiss him. Kissing the memory of Quentin had nothing on the real Quentin.

The feel of his lips, the pounding of his heart. The way Quentin had eagerly responded to it like it was oxygen and they were both dying to breathe. Then it was over and they pulled apart. Both of them with smiles on their faces.

“This doesn’t mean you’re completely forgiven.”

“I know, but it’s a start.”

“It’s a start.”

“Okay, so what’s our plan for getting out of here?” Kady asked

“Quentin and I have been working on that actually, our plans are inside,” James said as they all followed him inside leaving Quentin and Eliot behind. 

Quentin helped Eliot stand up which the taller man struggled to do,

“I probably should not have kneeled,” Eliot admitted.

“Yeah you really should have, you’re still healing.”

“It seemed romantic.” 

“You’re such a dumbass sometimes Waugh.” 

“But I’m your dumbass,” Eliot said cheekily. 

“Yeah you’re my dumbass,” Quentin replied as they made their way inside the house. Eagerly waiting to see what their plan would be.

* * *

To their credit the group pretended not to notice when Quentin and Eliot walked inside holding hands, Teddy just smiled.

The planning was complicated, to say the least — they had a way out, the key that Kady held around her neck. Quentin was not surprised that the Library had a literal key to the Underworld. 

But the point was getting there without being seen and that’s where things got complicated. There was definitely something they weren’t telling him because Kady and the rest kept staring at him and then at Eliot in that particular way of theirs. You know when they think they’re discreet but they’re actually being super obvious? 

And for Quentin’s admittedly sometimes oblivious ass to notice you know they were being extra obvious. He gave Margo and Alice credit though they were the only one being lowkey about it. Also, there were a lot of looks between them. Julia and Kady were painfully obvious and honestly if they “subtly” looked at him again he might scream.  

 “Okay, what the fuck is it?” Quentin asked the next time one of the two gave him one of their looks. 

“What?” Julia asked.

“You and Kady and Alice and Margo,” Quentin said as if that explained it all.

“What are you asking Coldwater?” Kady asked.

“What’s with the looks? At least Alice and Margo are discrete or trying to be. You and Julia are as obvious as a big pink elephant in the room,” Quentin remarked. 

“They are remarkably obvious honestly Kady how were you ever a spy?” Eliot asked.

“Funny you should mention an elephant in the room — El you want to take this one?” Margo asked, leaving no room for argument.

“Not particularly, No,” Eliot said as Quentin turned to look at him with _that look_ . Eliot hated that look because it was the _“you’re in trouble if you don’t start talking in .05 seconds”_ look. 

“El?” Quentin asked.

“There might be a catch to our plan,” Eliot said. 

“What’s the catch?” Quentin wondered. 

“You know how your body got kind of destroyed in the mirror world?”  
“I was aware of that yes.” 

“Well, to cross the library’s door you need a body.” 

“El,” 

“I mean, if it makes you feel better we got Emily Greenstreet and Mayakovsky to build you a body we just need to get you there.”

“How are you — wait Emily and Mayakovsky?” Quentin asked confused, how had they managed _that._

“Eliot went off on Mayakovsky — you would have loved it,” Alice said. 

“I know I did,” Margo agreed. 

“I might have lost my cool but it worked because it guilted him into agreeing,” Eliot pointed out. 

“So I have a body if you manage to smuggle me out of the Underworld — how exactly is that going to happen if your door needs a body?” Quentin asked with his arms crossed.

“We did find a solution if we hadn’t we wouldn’t have come — well not yet,” Julia said feeling slightly bad about putting it all on Eliot, he’d poured his heart out enough today.

“Jules?” Quentin asked.

“You can leave through the door with us in one way, someone has to carry your soul with them — the only caveat is that if both requirements aren’t enough you’ll be sent back to the Underworld,” Julia explained.

“So I’m Eurydice in this situation?” Quentin muttered.

“In a way — it’s complicated,” Julia said. 

“Julia’s research gave us two requirements. We needed something to carry the soul, something that meant something to the person whose soul it is so that it can bond to it,” Eliot says showing him the necklace with the rings. 

“Our wedding rings,” Quentin said softly.

“Yeah I figured that would be a good object to choose,” Eliot said and then grabbed Quentin’s hands and intertwining them, “The other side of the requirements is probably the reason why Julia and Kady lost any effort of being discrete. It makes sense because they don’t know what we know. To them, it would sound insane.” 

“What is it?” 

“Whoever carries the object with the soul is also important. I think the research said it needed to be a deep two-sided meaningful connection where both the souls have to be one,” Eliot told him and Quentin just stared.

“Oh,” Quentin said.

“Alice knew about the 50 years and so did Margo so it makes sense they’re slightly less worried,” Eliot said trying to lighten up the atmosphere, “I meant what I said earlier — you’re my soulmate, Quentin. From my side, it should work.”

“You’re my soulmate too,” Quentin admitted and it was all he had to say. 

“Yes you’re both really cute but can we get to figuring how the fuck we can get to the door without being seen?” Margo said pretending to be annoyed but they could both see the smile on her face. 

“Well you could give us some privacy,” Eliot said putting an arm around Quentin as he heard his son groan. 

“Don’t worry Teddy they can’t have sex because the doctor hasn’t cleared El,” Margo said smiling at her self-proclaimed godson. 

“That has never stopped them before,” Teddy said. 

“Sadly I don’t think we have time for that so underworld sex will not be marked off the bucket list just yet,” Eliot remarked, mostly just to tease his son, Quentin laughed at the expression on both their faces.

“You guys are the worst,” Teddy complained. 

“You’re going to miss us,” Quentin pointed out. 

“Yeah I will,” Teddy said softly and Alice took it as a sign to grab Margo and the rest and give the Coldwater-Waughs some privacy. 

“I’m going to miss you too kid,” Eliot said hugging his son again and pulling Quentin into the hug. 

About 30 minutes later the three of them came out of the room to where everyone else was. No one mentioned the fact that all three men looked like they had cried a bit. Alice and James with the help of Julia had devised a way to get back to the door without being seen. 

It would be risky but it was their best option right now. And so came the goodbyes. Eliot and Quentin had just said goodbye to their son so now everyone else did too. Julia hugged James tightly — he might not be her James but he was still a James. James would always matter to Julia. Then came Quentin’s turn to say goodbye. 

“Thank you — for everything,” Quentin said.

“It was truly no problem I’m glad I could help,” James said.

“I know they’re technically older but take care of my dad and son for me?” Quentin asked.

“You know I will,” James said and then Quentin gave him a small hug. 

Before Quentin joined the rest James called out to him, “Hey Q, just do one thing for me?”

“Anything.”

“When you get back to your timeline look me up.”

“Won’t you hate me?” Quentin asked — it had been one of the reasons he’d always held back — that and that he didn’t want to put him in danger. 

“I’ll be mad for a bit but there’s no world or timeline where I chose not to have you in my life Q,” James told him truthfully. 

“But you died? Isn’t it safer to just let you live your life?” Quentin wondered. 

“I died but I still wouldn’t change anything. I can guarantee that any version of me misses you... and Julia.” 

“Okay, I promise,” Quentin said, and if he made it out of the Underworld he was planning on keeping that promise.  

Quentin then looked at his son talking to Eliot and gave him another hug, “You’re going to be okay right?” 

“Yeah, dad I’ll be okay you two just worry about being happy because you’ve both earned it,” Teddy said. 

“We love you,” Eliot said giving his son a kiss on the top of the head and then a hug. 

“I love you too,” Teddy said as he stepped back into the house. 

Eliot just grabbed Quentin’s hand and they joined the group. Their plan was both simple and complicated at the same time. It relied on both Julia and Alice using their powers and everyone walking in pairs. Kady and Julia, Margo and Alice, Quentin and Eliot. They were going to use some shortcuts that James had shown them but they had to be extra careful. 

For some reason, the trip back to the Library seemed a lot shorter than the trip from the Library. But Eliot just assumed that was because he had Quentin back. The door was left open for them to sneak in, probably Penny’s doing, and so they did. 

Now they were at the door and Kady had the key. 

“You have to go last Eliot,” Kady said.

“I know,” Eliot nodded somberly as he saw how she turned the key in the lock and went inside, followed by Julia, Margo, and Alice. 

 

He took the necklace off and opened it handing one of the rings to Quentin for him to put on and Quentin did. Then he took the other ring and put it back on his own finger before putting the chain back around his neck. 

“I guess it’s now or never right?” Eliot said kissing Quentin’s hand with the ring. 

“I’ll see you on the other side,” Quentin said with a smile as they walked hand in hand through the door. Both of them thinking only of the love they had for each other. 

Not knowing what would happen on the other side but hoping their love and their lifetimes would be enough for the magic to work.    

* * *

You would think there would be more pomp and circumstance coming from the Underworld but it felt the same. Zelda got her key back and Fogg went to Brakebills. Everyone was quiet as they went from the Netherlands to Brakebills and then to Brakebills South. 

Everyone was setting everything up in one of the biggest rooms in Brakebills South so Eliot was left alone with his thoughts. 

This was the part that Eliot hated the most. He had to wait to see if Quentin had come through the door. There was no way to know without it. His hand felt heavier but he didn’t know if it actually felt heavier or if it was just wishful thinking on his part. 

It’s all on him — he’s the only one that can do the spell. The rest can be a safe distance away but Eliot has to recite the spell from the heart alone. The body that they’d made for Quentin was scarily accurate to how Quentin looked. 

So as of now, it looked like Quentin was asleep. In a few minutes, they would know if they succeeded or not. Then Mayakovksy called him in. 

Quentin’s new body was in a circle with four large batteries surrounding it. It was showtime. The group stepped back to a safe distance as Eliot stepped into the circle with Quentin and started to chant.  

The air picked up and Eliot could literally feel the magic but he wasn’t going to stop. It was like the magic was wrapping itself around him. His senses were clouding but all Eliot could think of was Quentin and how much he wanted him back. How much he loved him. He thought of everything from that first moment at the Brakebills signs to walking through the Underworld door together.  

The last thought he had before he passed out was that he hoped they got their second chance at a life together and how he hoped Quentin was okay. 

* * *

It had been about an hour or two when Eliot woke up again. He felt tired like he’d run a marathon and with his leg in its current state, he knew that was impossible. 

Eliot opened his eyes to see that he was no longer in Brakebills South but in what looked like to be his own room in Brakebills? He was so confused — the last thing he remembered was the spell. The spell to bring Quentin back. Had he been successful? What had happened. 

“Hey there.” 

Eliot turned to see Quentin sitting on the bed next to him. 

“Q? Is that really you?” Eliot whispered — not quite believing it. 

“Yeah it’s me Eliot — you did it,” Quentin said grabbing Eliot’s hand. 

“What happened? I remember doing the spell and then nothing,” Eliot said, also he had a bit of a headache.

“We didn’t realize beforehand but there was a final part of the spell — you had to be willing to give up everything to bring back the person stored in the object. It’s not easy getting a soul out of an object,” Alice said appearing at the door with Margo. 

“You gave us a fucking scare please never do that again,” Margo remarked crossing her arms.

“What happened?” Eliot asked as he sat up the girls came to sit in the bed with them.  

“You passed out is what happened,” Margo said.

“Then like 5 minutes later Quentin woke up,” Alice said. 

“I might have been slightly worried,” Quentin said.

“Yeah but Mayakovsky didn’t let us go to him until he’d done his tests,” Margo said, “He said that it was our Quentin and that you were just slightly drained but okay and you would wake up on your own.”

“What are we doing here though?” Eliot asked pointing to his room. 

“Oh yeah — he kicked us out the moment he made sure you were okay. He said we’d taken too much of his time already so we got Pete to help us bring you here since you were out cold,” Alice explained.

“Typical,” Eliot muttered and then looked at Quentin then at Margo. 

“We’d just come to make sure you were still alive so we’ll leave you two to talk,” Margo said grabbing Alice’s hand and dragging her out the door. 

Then Quentin and Eliot were left alone. For the first time in a really long time they were both safe and they were both alive.  

“Hi,” Eliot said softly turning to look at Quentin.

“Hey El,” Quentin replied with a smile. 

“So we’re here.” 

“We are.”  
“And we’re both alive,” Eliot said.

“Thanks to you,” Quentin responded and Eliot blushed.

“So did you still mean what we said?” Eliot wondered and Quentin answered him with a kiss. Eliot put his hand behind Quentin’s neck and pulled him closer. Their eyes were closed but smiling and their hearts beating fast. They pulled apart for a moment and just stayed there with their foreheads touching and they were both breathing heavily. 

“Does that answer your question?” Quentin asked cheekily.

“I think I might need further clarification,” Eliot said smirking as Quentin gets on top of him and kisses him once again. 

“I love you Quentin Coldwater,” Eliot said as they pulled apart and he was staring right into Quentin’s eyes. The eyes he never thought he’d see again.

“And I love you, Eliot Waugh,” Quentin replied.

‘What comes next?” Eliot asked 

“I think I’m going to get back on my meds and we’re both going to therapy. We’re going to take care of ourselves — the world can wait,” Quentin said.

“So we’re going to embrace the normality? I kind of like the sound of that,” Eliot mentioned as the corners of his mouth were rising. 

“Yeah that seems like it — and we should probably graduate at one point,” Quentin laughed. 

“That sounds perfect,” Eliot said, he would have never thought the idea of normal would make him excited but it does — it really does.

“As long as we’re together we can handle anything,” Eliot said softly.

“That sounds like a plan,” Quentin said then Eliot pulled him into another kiss— a slow and passionate one. Like they have all the time in the world to kiss. 

And as a matter of fact they do. They’re together again and they’ve got their friends. Quentin is going to keep his promise and tell his James everything. That’s all they need to be happy. It’s not going to be easy. They both still clearly have some issues they need to work on. They’re going to fight and make up. They will graduate and move on from Brakebills. But they’re going to go through it all together. 

 

And that’s what matters.

 

They’re soulmates and their love defeated death — anything else is a cakewalk.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished it! 
> 
> This fic was a lot longer than I expected but I'm proud of it. 
> 
> Please, kudos + review if you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing these characters so hopefully, you guys enjoyed it.


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